Tofurky Day.

LOL. Just kidding. Tofu, no matter how fucking extreme vegan or whatever you are tofu tastes like shit.
But today is Thanksgiving. And it's a day to be Thankful or whatever.
And so here's a list of all of the things that I am thankful for.
*warning. This list is a compilation of sarcastic and serious list making noteworthy things. So I'm either giong to look like a cynical bitch or someone who is suck a prick that I'm ridiculously happy over every fucking thing. Wow the list hasn't even started and I'm already cussing.




LET THE LIST OF THANKFULNESS BEGIN!

• Food. I fucking love food. If it wasn't for food I'd probably be skinnier than I already am. But damn, I flucking love to eat. My favorite foods are anything served during Thanksgiving. And I guess vegan. Eh. I'm a cheater vegan.
• My mother being all M.I.A. well she's not missing in action because no one really misses her to be honest. (Well, I kinda do... but we don't need to discuss that.)
• Hank. I fricken LOVE hank. I fricken love catrs. But Hank is like HANK. He's the best EVER. 
• Having the ability to shove different foods inside of other foods. Like the chicken inside of the duck inside of the turkey and then shoved into a giant fish. I love food combinations. Especially ones that taste good. 

You know what. I can't remember what i was thankful for.

So you know what?

While all of you are saying thank you, I'm going to say

You're Welcome! Because I'm so great and I know that all of you are  thankful for having me in your lives.

Because I'm the greatest. Ever.

And i guess i'm thankful for all of you too ;)

No really, I am thankful for all of you. 

Having all of you in my life is so absolutely wonderful and I just love all of you so much, 

Vegan Schmegan.

I have always wanted to be vegan.
So Guess what Yo.
I'm gonna go vegan.
Hellz yeah.
Shit man.
Haha.
I went from vegetarian.
To picky eater.
To Vegan.
I just love all of the animals SO MUCH!
So here's to being vegan.
Hallelujah.

Goodbye Social Life.

Well. I have a job, right? Right. Well actually I have two jobs. Though only one is scheduling me right now.
What does my work schedule for next week look like?
Well sort of like this.
Monday November 21: 9 am-2 pm
Tuesday November 22: 5 pm- Close.
Friday November 25: 3 am- 12 pm.
Yep.
Welcome to the work life I guess right?
I have never not even once in my  life ever participated in Black Friday.
But here I am about to work it.
strange. I'm really excited though. I'm going to need like straight shots of caffeine! Wahoo!
And probably a before work nap.

So last night I went to Improv, it's something that I go to fairly regularely. It's hilarious so why not go and every thursday this month it's FREE. So why the hell not? And besides long form is my favorite. Free+Longform=Happy Morgan (: haha
So I went last night with Amber, her sister Nikki, and Joey. I wanted them all to meet and be all friendly and such but it didn't really go that way. There was some awkwardness and idk Amber and I were kinda upset with eachother so yeah.
I don't know. It was fun over all I think. I had fun and I think that's all that matters really (:

There was something else I wanted to say btu i can't remember.
Oh well.
happy friday everyone!

It's not 11:11 anymore.

So recently it was eleven/eleven/eleven.
So it was the big day to make a big wish right? Right. And boy oh boy did I make a wish.
Kinda....
Well i missed the first round of serious wishing, and ALMOST missed the second round of intense wishes.
So anyways, I'm not going to inform all of you of what I wished for in those blissful sixty seconds.
But I can surely tell you that I did not waste my sixty seconds of wishing. I wished and wished and wished my little heart out,
and maybe my wish will come true or maybe it was just an interesting day to do interesting things.

I also saw my counselor that day on eleven eleven and told her how my mother was living in my closet for a week. And she laughed for a few minutes and was like, "You're serious?' and I said, "Yes." and then we chuckled for a minute or two. I was the first person that had ever told her that their mother was living in their closet. Which I found very interesting and a little bit sad. Sad because I was the only one who has ever had this experience. But now that I think about that, I feel better knowing that I'm the only one who has gone through such an experience. I would be sad had anyone else been in this sort of situation of being manipulated by their mother. It's sad and I'm learning that as I am slowly becoming an adult I need to set these boundaries with my mother and let her know that she is an adult and needs to learn to take care of herself and not rely on me when her lifes gone to shit. Or something like that.
And I'm learning to be more assertive. Kind of. I'm starting small. Like with telling people my likes and dislikes. and things like that. And the more I discover about myself and this assertiveness and this whole, "I like grapes. WHOA. I LIKE grapes." You know? I like grapes, but I prefer the green grapes. They're delicious. Yum.

I have a job. Well, actually.I have two jobs right now. And they're magically right across from each other. I work at Icing and Wet Seal. A sales associate at both, though I think I run cashier at Icing but not at Wet Seal. I'm excited. I officially start at Wet Seal on Friday. I work at nine in the morning until two in the afternoon. It's going to be a fun day (:

I'm also addicted to the show misfits. It's this british show. It's really cool. I wish I could just like show it to everyone.

"I've got his heart. I mean that when he died, they ripped his heart out and stuck it in me."

I feel weird today. I feel weird all of the time.
I'm just a weird person.
Weird.
It looks like Wired.
Hank, my cat, is hopping off and on the couch and making weird purring noises as he does.
They're adorable.

Oh this cat snuck into my grandmothers house and had kittens. and now my grandma wants to keep this cat  but get rid of the kittens. I want one of the kittens. I want it sooo bad.

Goodnigth.

Stendhal Syndrome.

There is this thing called Stendhal Syndrome. Dont know what it is? Google it. Basically it’s when you see something so beautiful and moving that you burst into tears and emotions at the sight of it.

Today I had finally achieved stendhal syndrome. It has been my life goal to find something that would move me so much that I would burst into tears. 

And today I had. 

I saw the first two volumes of Les Miserables by Victor Hugo and I picked it up. And I wept. There was this sudden emotion that flooded into my being and I wept and wept inside of this old antique and used bookstore. 

But I held it in my hands and read the first three pages and cried and cried silently to myself. 

It was so beautiful and pure. 

I don't look the way pretty girls look.

I don't look the way that the other pretty girls look. I'm not saying that I'm not pretty.
I'm just not traditionally pretty. And you may be thinking, "Morgan, what does this have to do with anything?" well, I'm just letting you know that everyone is beautiful. Beyond beautiful even. We're all magnificent creatures and yes, even you are a magnificent creature with the potential to do anything that you will and have already dreamed of.

So onto other things.


Today I spent the whole day with my grandmother. My filipino grandmother and she's just absolutely wonderful. She's so inspiring and just ah. Amazing. She told me today that someday, when she's ready to look back on her past, she is going to have me write her biography. I'm really excited because she has one of the most interesting lives I've ever heard about. I mean like, gosh. i dont even know. She's just gone through it all. She had children at a very young age. She was married at a young age to a very very very old man. She moved from her home in the Philippines to California to Minnesota USA. Which is an alarming change if you ask me.
And today I asked her if she's ever been in love, and she said
No.
And it made me sad, because. She's never been in love. She loves my grandpa to no end. She is sad and empty when she's not with him and when she's with him she wants to kill him, but she still said that she's not in love with him. That made me so sad. She's never been IN love. But then again, she's loved and continues to love people and everyone around her and her kinda sorta husband. And she just gives and gives as much as she can. She's a beautiful woman and I love her so absolutely much with my entire heart. And she just inspires me all of the time and she's just so wonderful. She's spunky and crazy and says funny things.

And I was going to blog about how I saw my middle school orchestra teacher but I'm tired now.
Goodnight.

Parenthetical Citations.

What to blog about. What to blog about.
WHAT TO FUCKIN' BLOG ABOUT.


This is a very good question. So I guess I'll just tell all of you what's been going on in my wonderful life.
Weelllllllll. They doubled my dosage on my meds. From ten to twenty. And I think it's helping. I mean I've only been doing that for like three days, but I guess I feel different. I feel like me. If that makes sense. I just have lost patience for like everything in my life. I have no patience to take pictures, or draw or write or color or even sit around and procrastinate from doing the things that I love. It's not that I have to be doing anything, I just think so much it's like one hundred words in one second and I don't know what to do with all of it. I dont' know what to do about all of these words in my head or all of the things that I want to say or should have said or should be doing or want to do or should be doing or what i don't know. It's just so much going on in my head and so much going on in my life.  But not at the same time. I feel like even though there ar things going on that are out of my control and things that I want to change and can't or dont' feel like i'm in the power to change or I should change because i don't feel like I'm supposed to be the one to change the thing. so yeah. I hope that all made sense, though I'm not sure if it really did. But that's okay. I guess.

Alright. there were other things that oh.,Okay. So Joseph billings is going to let me put make up on him. Guess who's excited? ME. Like OH MY GOD. I cannot wait. I don't know what I'm going to do, but like I'm so excited. We have, shit. I was going to say that we have the same color hair and eyes so it will be easy to do his make up but we dont' just the same color hair and his eyes are green? I don't know. His eyes are lighter than mine. Everyones are. So I must think of something. Ohhhhhhhh. Green eyes look good with green and browns? Greens fo'sho. So maybe I do some greens. It's going to be a great day. Oh yeah all of this is going to happen on tuesday; GIRLY MAKE OVER DAY TIME SLEEP OVER DAY :D It's going to be great.

Today I went climbing again. and it was really fun. Auntie came with along with faith and it was cool. So yeah,
I should be doing homework but I'm blogging. and not doing homework and now I'm watching a movie kinda. So yeah. So yeah. So yeah. So. Yeah.

yesterday was Guy Fawkes day and on the eleventhh it's going to be eleven-eleven-eleven so at eleven you must make a wonderful wish. And then there's thanksgiving this month. And just ah. I love November. It's the greatest month every.
I'm watching V for Vendetta. so I guess I'll be done.

Before you die...

Dear blog worthy blog readers,
I am so  very sorry for not posting recently. I have been busy... on tumblr.
I know. I told you guys, once i started doing tumblr then I would stop blogging. And look at me! I'm pitiful.
(Though my tumblr is really cool and you should check it out and follow and shit. cause it's the shit.)
So anyways. I've been busy with other things besides tumblr too. I've been trick or treating, and making dresses and doing cool things.
Like today I went climbing with my friend Joey and found out that I was a natural climber. Like seriously.
This morning 5.10 (I think.) and 5.8 and those things didn't mean anything at all. But now I'm trying my damnnest to get to a fucking 5.9. Or was it 5.8. I don't remember. But so I climbed one and it was fairly easy and Joey was belaying me down to the ground with the biggest fricken smile on his face. It could be from being able to stare at my butt for like five or so minutes without getting scolded, but I'm going to say that it was more because I was totally fricken boss at  climbing that shit. Or possibly a combination of both. Haha.
But seriously. I've fallen in love with climbing. It's the greatest sport ever. It's like I don't know. It's so cool. And even though I've just started to climb today pretty much, I'm already boss. I know, I'm not gloating so there's no need to tell my ego to calm down, because my ego is calm. It's just really big.

Also I went trick or treating last night. I was a cat. (Images in a second. hold your horses.) The cutest fucking cat that you ever saw too. And I went trick or treating with my younger cousin Faith who went as the most kick as vampire that you ever saw. And I realized that even if I don't get a job anywhere I'll always have a job in costume design because I fuckin' rocked faiths costume. I styled her hair and her make up and made her the best vampire out there. She's twelve or something so I couldn't do a sexy vampire.(That's just vulgar anyways.) but she's in middle school and so I had a feeling that she also didn't want to look absolutely disgusting. (She didn't want blood on her face. So this is where I'm inferring this thought from.)  So I tried to go for a glamour vampire. Not glamour like fashion glamour but you know how vampires are supposed to have this magical power of "glamour" where they just magically have power over you with the way they look because the way they look captivates you and you're not quite sure why? Well that's kinda what I was going for. And I think I achieved it. I wish I had taken photos of it. Though erika might have some... But it was really cool. Her eyes are green so I went with a green/blue color combo to almost blend those colors with her eyes to create this mystical look of fascination and color flow to open her eyes and captivate you and things. So yeah. And then my makeup was cute too. I went with purples to compliment my dark hair and eyes. The only thing I wanted was to keep my eyes round and with a cat-eye eyeliner look. So that's what I did. And a black nose and whiskers. I took better pictures than the ones that I'm posting. And I'll post those later when I find my camera chord. (:

I know. I'm the cutest thing you've ever seen. 

A finished project is a wonderful project.

Alrighty. So that post before this post is the unedited version.
Here, for all of you I present a wonderfully edited and well thought out project.
Enjoy.

I can’t help but think.

Morgan Le Kander

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you’ll never entirely recover.”- Charles Bukowski. It just is. Slowly it causes me to nitpick through myself, and so I see it through the eyes of a cynical woman. As I slowly succumb to the idea, the idea of love being this serious illness. An illness that seeps into a person’s soul and sends them spiraling down into a state of pallor. From that first glance, an exchange of smiles. Then we traded the sparks in our eyes for these flames in our hearts growing with time as we sat in parks. And these flames grow hot, singeing our skin. When I realize, love hurts. Then I’m wondering what cancer feels like, for I feel that it must be something like this. These cells inside of me, dividing and growing, growing and dividing. There’s no cure, no script to teach me to stop loving, no directions to make this end. This cancer is contagious. This is why we are all sick. I sound bitter, but in truth… it’s just the meds. Small orange pills that send my mind careening into hallways, leading this cynical women to doors, which behind hide all the answers, to why I so hate love. But even that is a lie, because I love every tear that falls down my face as I am destroyed by the very thought of falling, falling… for you. My fear of losing this feeling that rids of me of clear thoughts and tosses me, quite violently, into these torturous endeavors. But I don’t mind,

 I am caught in the moment. 

Free Write.

So here's a sample of something that I wrote for class.
Why I'm sharing. I'm not sure.
But here it is.

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you’ll never entirely recover.”- Charles Bukowski. Right now this is the quiote that I’m thinking of. When freewriuting this is the thing that I wish to write about . I had once done a poetry review on him. And my teacher liked my review answer about his poetry just being “it’. The way that he wrote just is. And I like that. I like things being just it. Just the way that they supposed to be. Wow that was ahorrible grammar. And that was horrible spelling and that was a horrible thing for me to nit pick through myself like that when I’m just typing away. Typing all of these thoughts away onto this document . And then I’m thinking back to that quote. The one that I have as my first sentence and I’mt hinking that he’s right. In every way even if he was a mean spirited cynical peson he  was right about one thing and that’s that love is a serious illness that no matter what you will never recover from. No matter how much time elapses from the moment that you gaze upon a person from the moment that you two exchange glances and smiles and inside jokes there will never be a time when you can just stop loving. No matter how many timest hey wrong you or hurt you you will always love them. And that’s why it’s an illness for which there is no cure. That is why love is cancerous. And it’s strange when we’re young we are taught to love people and things and the world and and we are taught to be nice and care and just love things to no end, but never not once are we taught to learn how to stop loving things. We never learn how to just let things go and move on. And that is why we are all sick from the moment we are born into this worl. We are are sick from this disease that we are born into. A huge society of cancerous emotions and there is no cure. There will never be acure. And now I understand that I sound bitter on the topic and that I sound upset and just overall cycnical myself on the topic, but I’m not. I love being sick with these emotions. I love the heart wrenching feelings that I get when I am hurt, I love every tear that falls down my face when I am frusterated to no end because I cannot bear to lose this feeling of love for the things and people around me. I love this disease that rids me of clear thinking.  I love the emotions that plague me as I go through withdrawls of feelings of bliss and enjoyment. I love every torturous endeveor that love brings to me. And I am in love with being in love and I fall so easily into it. And I never fall so easily out. Once I’m in I’m in. And it’s a curse and a blessing all in the same moment.

Beautiful entities in my bedroom.

So. Once I start a blog. Then I have to make another blog.
You know? It's like tattoos. Once you get one, then you have to get another one.
(; See what I did there.
Alright.
So a few things I'm going to address in this blog.
0.) Why Erika should follow my Tumblr at work.
1.) Rant.
2.) Things in my bedroom.
3.) Why hank won't sleep with me.
3.5.) Alaska Bitches.
4.) other shit.

0.) Look we all know that you go and read my blog during your break at work. And that afterwards you delete your internet history. It's not a big deal. Everyone does it. Well, no. But that's okay. But I really think that you should add my tumblr to the other internet sites that you find yourself deleting from your history after your lunch break for many reasons. 1.) I post some really funny shit. 2.) I post some really cool fashion. 3.) Sometimes I forget to blog here and only blog there. So to keep up with me you might want to follow that too. 4.) heres the link.   itsokayimasian.tumblr.com  *Copy&&Paste. (:

1.) Alright. You know what? Fuck everything. Fuck the world. Fuck the cold bitter wind that is seeping through the invisible fucking cracks of my window. Fuck this darkness that settling into even the furthest crevices of marrow in my bones. Fuck this sinking feeling that is dragging me deeper and deeper into my own thoughts of existentialism and what it means to be a person and how I’m not even a single grain of a fucking human being. Fuck all of that. Fuck this shit.

Because I’m getting off of tumblr. I’m going to do something, 

and I’m going to be great.

*Tumblr window is going to be left up the laptop. I’m just going to move away from the computer for a moment and actually do something. Maybe. 

**probably just go put chapstick on. and then come back to tumblr&Blogging&Facebook.

2.) So I went through this giant luggage case that has been and more than likely still will be sitting in my closet and it's full of wonderful art projects taht I've done in the past both at home and at school and other institutional functions where I was told to create art. And So i'm rippin' that badboy open on a quest, because you don't just open a luggage case full of art. That's nonsense, because it's much more complicated than that. But anyways. So I'm opening it, err rippin' that badboyy oppeenn YEEEE and I see my *Journal. and I grab that mutha fuckah and I toss it on the bed** and then I grab this awesome hot air baloon painting that I did like over a year ago and I'm seeing all of these things that I have done and that i did. And this series that was up in starbucks once, and I'm just in awe of the things that I once did. And the person i once was. And i want her back. I want to be like her once more. and do the things that she did and be cool. So I am goign to .

3.) Hank Won't sleep with me. He hasn't for, well this is the second night in a row *INSERT REALLY REALLY REALLY SAD FACE HERE* And he always does this to me for a few nights after I come home late, so it's like on the weekends he won't sleep with me, but on the weeknights life is all "Hey baby gurrrrllll let's dooo this thannnggg" (*No. I do not promote bestiality. That is disgusting. But this is Hank. And he's a major sex symbol so he has to say things like this. End of story.*) And then hops up on my bed and shakes it and then stretches and shakes my bed some more and looks around and wonders "Lol. Wut da fuck. Wuz dat an Errrth Kwake?" (yeah. he speaks ebonics too.) But so tonight I'm alll Alooonnneee and lonely in my bed. Without a cat to cuddle. #mylifeissosad.

3.5)  DUDE. OH MY GOD. So I was looking at my blog stats right? And It highlighsts like all of the places that your blog is popular in. And my blog is all popular and shit (Popular is a strong word. Let's rephrase and use read by) my blog is being read by people in the upper midwest.... AND ALASKA. DUDE> HOLY FUCKING BALLS> HI ALASKA. HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S RUSSIA DOING? Lol. Just kidding. But srsly, you let us know if they start to invade. 

4.) Other shit. Don't remember. Don't care.

*Journal. This journal has a really interesting story. That story being a personal one. but hey you know what? I'm gonna put that shit up here cause this is my personal blog. So this journal is kind of how I "came out" to my parents/immediate family. I wasn't ready to come out to them. Not at all. I wasn't even really sure what it was that I was (*Don't worry. I know that I still dont' completely believe in sexual orientation. One (Roughly) 25% of the world population is completely either straight or gay. the rest of us, the 75% are in fact naturally Bi-sex-u-al.) but my mother was all "Whooaaa. Read. This. Shit." but to my face was all "My friend Katie thought it was her friends notebook that she left at her house." And then I'm thinking, "Dude. How the fuck did that get in her house?!?"  Anyways. So then my mother cried non-stop for like a week. And I was all, in my head, "Dude. She knows." And then idk it became this hugee fuckin' issue (Mainly with other issues tied into this notebook that I absolutley do not wish to post on the internet.) but it became this huge issue and I was always crying. and my mother was always crying and Auntie was all "Biiitttchhh that don' mean youuu lurrveee herrrr." (Love you Erika.) And so yeah. So it has a lot of history. 

***I'm reading it and it's makin' me tear up. And all of the holes in dates makes me really sad too.

Insight.

Alright. So here’s a literal wordy blog post rather than blogs about images and cats and things. So I want to change who I am. I want to be someone who is not me. I just want to let go of all of the things that are me that I don’t like. I want to shed a few inches of skin and warm my body up because tonight I feel creative. I feel alive and I feel like I can make something happen, but my house is so cold and I can’t. I simply cannot get out of my bed and do anything because then it means that I will be chilled to the bone. Which in my case is not cool, not at all. My mother was supposed to be here today. She’s not. She was supposed to be here tomorrow. She won’t be. And then she wonders why I have sort of detached myself from her; because I do not enjoy being let down. I don’t like this up and down of waiting for answers. I don’t like being excited only to be let down immensely. Because I mean, yeah I sort of don’t like my mom but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited to see her. I haven’t seen her in like a month. So yeah, I did kind of want to see her and have her shower me in gifts and things to show her love for me… and to get my clothes back and my license and social security card… Anyways. 

So I’ve quit wearing bras. Yep. It’s official I do not wear them any longer. Nope.  Nada. (Well I’m probably going to throw one on in a few days, but for the time being. I’ve decided I don’t need them. I don’t have enough stuff there to wear them.) 

There were other things I wanted to sort of blog about but for the life of me I cannot remember. 

Also. It's not that I dont' remember (I don't actually.) I just have otehr things that I am now remembering to blog about. Like my video for school. 

Click*to*watch 

It has reached eight views. 

EIGHT FUCKING VIEWS. How dope is that? Srsly. Haha, 

anywhoo. So remember that video I posted awhile ago that has no sound and me messing around?

Well here it is in clips. Not as funny, but i'm slightly proud of myself and had it had some nice voice over ior someshit it might've been cool. 

Maybe. 

Actually just kidding. The above note is a tease because blogger doesn't like it when I add videos right now.

STFU blog. No one likes you anyways. Everyone likes tumblr. 

Wait. is that why you're being a bitch to me? Is it because I've neglected you and started tumbling? 

I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't take it personally,  it's just that tumblr is tumblr. and you're you. 

You're still the real deal but ...

Shit this is awkward...

My wedding photos are in!

So that first dress is my absolute favorite dress in the entire world. Like.

I would kill someone for it,

It';s so "me" 

as far as wedding dresses would go.

"Book Addict"

I'm the largest creep in the world.
Fo' Real.
I saw this bumper sticker on this car that I was behind on my way home this night,
And there was this fuckin' awesome red and black bumper sticker that was all badass and shit.
and it said
"Book Addict"
And I followed this guy.
(He was going almost all the way to my house!)
and I tail gaited him.
I was basically just all up on his ass.
And then I was driving next to him (right. next, to. him)
and was trying to get the courage to wave or some shit and be all
"DUDE> OMFG, WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR BUMPER STICKER?!>!"
But he looked all gangster and shit.
so I was confused by that.
And also scared to say anything.
He was a white gangster, *just creatin' pictures.
not being racist.
duh.
Well.
I forgot all of the other cool
no I didn't.
I remembered.
So I went thriftin' with my grandmother today.
And I can hear some of you groaning. "ewww. thrifting is gross. whine whine whine."
STFU.
I'm asain and can do what- No.
I'm morgan and I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Besides. I don't want to look like everyone else who shops at the mall.
I mean yeah whatevs your dresses and cardigans are cute and stuff.
(But does he know how to wind you up. dun dundduuund dun dun dun)
But seriously. YOU ALL LOOK THE SAME>
GET SOME FUCKIN STYLE.
OR
GTFO.
Seriously.
But I got a giiiaant knit sweater that has shapes and shit on it.
and a skirt thing. like a hippie skirt.
and scarves up the ass. So many scarves. I love scarves.
and jewelries.
PEARLS PEARLS PEARLS>
FUcking love me some pearls.
And a basket for sewing things.
and that's all.
I think.
And I received another sewing machine (i like it better than the one my white grandma gave me. ... )
Anyway.



END.

To Blog. Or Not to blog.

Is not something I would ever ask myself.
Because the answer will always be : To blog.
which is what I'm doing.
So i've noticed a strange weight gain in my body recently.
(I know I'm skinny, But I'm just sayin'.)
And It freaked me out because I felt like I had gained a LOT of weight.
But the more I examined my body the more I realized that  it wasn't my body that gained weight.
It was mainly just my boobs.
Which is a good bad things.
Good, because you know. Having a nice chest is nice. I suppose.
Bad because I'm short.
Short people with a large chest  makes them look shorter. And rounder.
Ah the horror.
Who gives a fuck. I certainly don't anymore.
My chest is larger. End of story, moving on.
So my breakfast today is the healthiest in the world.
Laffy taffy.
So delicious.
I had bananas, and strawberries, and grapes and even sour apples!
So healthy!
So my other blog (the other one that I started but never really blogged on. :P )
I shared it with my classmates yesterday in advisory.
Which is scary and not.
Because some kid was all "Oh you want to be a designer, model, journalist? make a fashion blog."
and I was all. "I already have one. Bitch"
and then the teacher was all "Link us up"
and i know I have tons more blogs abotu fashion on this blog.
But I use the word fuck a lot.
and bitch.
and my life story is on this blog.
I don't want my classmates to be all "Shit dude. this girls life is fucked up"
and then my teachers would be all "dayyyummm.t his isn't school apropriate. why did you share this with us?"
and I'd be all "Only look at the fashion posts!"
but they wouldn't.
There's a picture of me in my underwear somewhere on this blog.
There's also pictures of me with just fans.
So, no this blog is not for my classmates to look at.
That would be weird.

I have everything and nothing to blog about .

I went on a mini road trip today.
Yessirree I did.
I'm like almost two weeks behind in homework, but it doesn't matter Road trips are wonderful wonderful.
But it was wayyy up the north shore and my friend Joey (Official explorer friend) found this place on the north shore
where all of the water is blue.
Like as blue as blue as blue can be.
And it's absolutely beautiful. And there was this giant flat rock surface thing that  i want to throw a party on.
I just think that it would be awesomely amazingly fantastic.
I'm going back there soon to take pictures so that you may see how incredible this place is.

Oh my god. I lost a follower on twitter. Shit man. I need to make more interesting posts!
*Le checking twitter again. to make sure.
Okay. so someone raelly did unfollow me. but someone took their place.
I'm still holding a wonderful seven followers. I know. People need to just calm down.

I have sketched out my first creation.
I have most of the material.
Now i just need some energy.
I'm so exhausted.
I'm not sad.
Well kinda.
But not as sad as I would normally be.
You know?
I'm not thinking about how alone I am.
I'm just thinking taht I'm sad.
And you know what.
It's okay to be sad sometimes.

Very last post for the day. Maybe even the week. (Or atleast a few days)

I really want to try and only post once a day. But there are so many things that can happen in one day of my life.
And then there are days where nothing happens and I still post five thousand times...
I got a twitter.
Yeah.
I don't know why. But I did.
I haven't posted...er tweeted. Yet.
But I will.
Maybe that's where I'll put most of my dumb things that I think of my life.
You'know?
Riiight.

So I hope that no one will ever tell me that I live my life without art.
Or that I have no devotion to the art that I make.
Because I am an artist.
No matter what anyone says.
I just hope that no one ever tells me differently.
Because
I just ruined my toothbrush for the sake of art.
My. TOOTH BRUSH.
(I'm still going to use it.)
Because so I have this silk screen for screen printing. (Which is a fricken awesome medium
and I'm thinking about making a tutorial later. via blog. because I feel like there are people out there who would enjoy knowing how to screen print also!)
And I used a drawing fluid method (which basically means that I made a negative of the image that I wanted to print out.
So I filled the screen in in all of the places that I did not want to come throuhg and left blank the places that I
wanted to to show up on my shirt.
Simple enough right?
Right (The print came out a lot smaller. or maybe the shirt was a lot bigger than i had hoped.) hah
but being me i misread the labeling on the chemical jars and instead of reading "Emulsion remover" which is hwat is was. I read "drawing fluid remover" I know. Morgan.
How the hell do you make that mistake?
Uhhh not reading correctly and being forgetful.
Ah but that was not the last of my blunders.
I told my father to pick up washing soda. (Texting washing soda, and thinking that washing soda and baking soda were the same thing) But he comes home. And I forgot the recipe to make the solution to clean the drawing fluid off and so i google it.
and to my dismay baking and washing are two different things.
So I panic. and do more googling (because my dad would flip if he found out htat i told him to get the wrong thing... which now that i think abotu it. i didn't tell him to get the wrong thing. he got the wrong thing... anyways)
so after more googling i find that you can clean drawing fluid with detergent. thank goodness.
And so i did.
But my father also neglected to pick up a toothbrush (thati so kindly asked him to get)
and said there was a brush in the drawer by the sink.
Yeah. A wire brush that would rip my screen!
And being the kind sister that I am I did not use my brothers toothbrush. My father would know instantly if i used his.
So Being the dedicated artist that i truly am (wow i'm so lame)
I picked up my toothbrush and scrubbed away.
and now it's kinda ruined.
But that's okay.
It's still a nice usable toothbrush.
Anyone wanna make out?



lol.

This is A Service Message for Erika Runstrom.

I know you're on your break right now.
Killing time reading this.
because this is what you do with your lunchbreaks.
So Hey why don't you email yourself those pictures
and then email them to me.
So I can blog about it.

email?
mlekander@live.com

(Joey Billings. If you run a spam thingie and send me five thousand emails. Karma will get you.)

This is a weird blog.
I feel weird.
Wow.
I'm so happy.
happy happy happy.
Why didn't my mom like being on anti-depressants?
Oh yeah. because she felt like it wasn't her. And it was actually a pill that was controlling her life/.
Sometimes I think she did harder drugs that my Jesus Uncle.
Who did or almost did lithium. Which sounds pretty hard to me.
And he had a tongue peircing.
I wonder if he has tattoos.
Just kidding.
No I don't ,
my grandfather would have killed him.
I bet he'd like my tattoos though.
Because I'm the favorite.
Wow.
This is the best service message ever.
It's like if twittter did service messages.
"Beep. Beep. This service message is brought to you by twitter. Megan fox's nose just fell off and has revealed to the world that she is in fact a robot. Thankyou. Beep beep beep."
"Beep Beep This service message is brougth to you by twitter. Obama just went number two in my house. Thank you. Beep Beep Beep."
Wow.
Those are dumb.
It's like watching Vh1.
Which I love.
To watch with auntie.
Oh my god.I watched night at the rothberry. or wahtever itrwas called.
and it was kinda funny.
and i remember watching it as a little child.
Like little  that i lived in a white house and my brother was barely even a person.
i wonder how he survived all of the times i choked him.
I don't know why I did. It wasn't out of murderous means. I just really wanted people to listen to me sing
my fricken ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Not look at a dumb baby.
Who should have been a girl.
If he was born a girl. I probably wouldn't have choked him.
Just sayin'

Little Kitty Feeling Lonely.

Alrighty My Goodness.
It's been a few days since I've posted. (not that i truly believe anyone notices. But whatever.)
So I've started these anti-depressants right?
And by golly. I do not think I should drink coffee or have caffeine when I am on them.
Unless, you know, I want to go crazy.
Which I've found is extremely hilarious.
But anyways. So yesterday was "Morgan Get's everything she's ever wanted day"
A sewing machine (CHECK)
A screen printing kit (Check)
and cute boots (CHeck.)
I feel like there was more but I don't remember.
Who cares anyways too because that's cool shit right there.
But anyways so my pill.
It makes me nauseus. A lot. Like I just force fed myself breakfast because I was nauseus and nothing tastes good. *Insert big ol' sad face here* Not even sun chips are delicious to me right now. The only thing that  I want is to drink. Which is a side effect. No I don't have diabetes. So lot's of water for me! Which is good because I hardly ever drink water. But gross at the same time because the water at my house is disgusting.
But so yesterday I didn't eat a ton. But I drank a lot. A lot of coffee (A mocha mocha from perkins) and a campfire mocha (dark chocolate on ice) from caribou (and i heard on ice makes them more caffeinated. I don't know how andi t's probably wrong. but still. itw as on ice.) and then a pepsi. Hi. Wow.
Can you say Hyper?
I was freaking out. I was shaking; like tremors. And talking five thousand words a minute and just so unbelievably happy that my face felt uncomfortable if I was not smiling.
So I smiled a lot.
And said basically everything that came to my mind.
And now I'm wondering. (It was most definitely the caffeine (And my severe lack of salt in my body which is also a side effect; low salt levels. which i need to learn to maintain.)) do my meds give me adhd? can they give me AdHd?
(Oh when I was having my freak out we called le hospital and they were all "Yeah. Eat salt." And I was all "OH MY GOD> SALT? BUT EVERTHING MAKES ME NAUSUES. WOULN'T IT BE FUNNY IF INSTEAD OF GROSS THINGS COMING UP WHEN YOU PUKED IT REVERSED EVERTHING THAT HAPPEDN AND IT WAS A HOLE FOOD?! WOW. THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD. JUST WATCH SOMEONE THROW UP A WHOLE THANKSGIVING DINNER. LOLOLOLOLOL.OHM Y GOD. YOU NEED TO TRY ARCHYTYPING YOURSELF. IT'S SO FRICKENCOOL. I DID MINE ANDI LOOKED AT THEPROSTITUTE CARD BUT I DIDN'T PICK IT. I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE BUT I FEEL LIKE MY MOM WOULD SUBCONCIOUSLY PICK IT. IN FACT I WOULD FORCE HER TO. THAT'S GROSS. OH MY GOD. SHE TOOLD ME TO DELETE THINGS OFF OF MY BLOG SO THAT SHE WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A WHORE. BTU I MEAN LIKE THIS IS MY PERSPECTIVE AND IT'SW NSOT THAT I SEE HER AS A WHORE SHE MAKES HERSELF OUT TO LOOK THAT WAY, Y'KNOW? i FEEL BAD NOW BECAYUSE SHE'S MY MOM. BUT SHE CAN MAKE HER OWN BLOG AND WRITE ABOUT HER FEELINGS AND THINGS. OHH SHE COULD CALL IT THE REDLIGHT DISTRICT. LOLOLOLOL."

Yeah. that basically sums up how I felt when I was all caffeine and no salt and no food.
So I'm going to eat things. Even ifthey make me feel like throwing up.

My sewing machine.
I totally refitted a t-shirt last night.
Now it's like a second layer of skin for me.
haha.
Because it fits like a glove.
Minus one sleave.
The left sleeve didn't turn out as great as the right sleeve did.
and feels a little weird.
but oh well.
First try right?
God. I felt so badass after I sewed on that first sleeve.
I was all "Fuck yeah. Made a sleeve."
My dad's going to get a tattoo.
He's thinking about getting a barbed wire thing on his arm.
or something.
I told him to go for it.
Because tattoos are cool.
and thinking of my father making that kind of decision is hilarious.
because he doesn't make those kind of decisions.
lolololol.
dude.
Time for homework.


Au Reviour.
Dynamo.

I like to end my blogs with the word dynamo
because my grandmother called me Dynamo and
at the time and still now I thought, Wow, that would be a cool Blogger name.
So my blogger name is Dynamo.
I know.
I'm so lame.
But not a tthe same time. because you wish you thought of it first.

OMG! I'M ENGAGED!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!111!!1

LOL. Just kidding. Well, kinda.
I've decided I'm going to gay marry my hot self. Beeeeiiocchhhez.
But in all seriousness today was extremely interesting and just all over a wonderful day.
(Pics later. Because I promise that it did happen)
So aunty and I went to my doctor appointment and I must say what my doctor told me is extremely hilarious and
wildly disgusting. And being Morgan, yeah I'm going to embarassingly tell you why my stomach hurt so goddamn bad that one night when I went to the ER a few nights ago.
Because I had extreme built up gas.
HAHAHAHAHA. ISH.
But seriously my intestines were (I saw the x-rays) were blown up to the size of my arm! and like shoving up into my rib cage.
What did I eat? Seriously. That's disgusting and fascinating all at the same time. Mostly disgutsting though.
And they also found a tiny foreign object in my pelvis.
What is it? I don't know.
Is it going to kill me?
Actually, yes. I'm dying now because of this foreign object lodged into my pelvis.
(It sounds dirty.)
But no. i lied. the foreign object was actually a small charm on my underwear.
(Hey Victoria's Secret, we're all adults, why do we need charms on our underwear?)
Vicky's: To charm the men. Duh. Or women. Or whatever it is that you find yourself attracted to.

One Gift, one thousand fantasties.
that's my favorite slogan. haha.
Anyways,
So after the doctor we made myself an eye appointment to check out this head ache
THERE'S NO TUMOR!
And fingure out why it hurts when I blink my eye.
Because it's getting really fucking annoying. BITCH.
and it's giving me tourettes. Obviously.
and and and and and.
Oh I applied at Pier One. I like that store. It's cool. And smells really good. And I love interior design.
And anyway.
Oh I'm on anti-depressants. I feel like I copped out with agreeing to take them.
Y'know? Like, Hey I can struggle immensily and be on the verge of suicide like every other week but atleast I'm not a wuss and taking meds. But here i am. Taking meds. Being all "Yeah. I can't handle this on my own."
which makes me really sad. Because it makes me feel weak. That I can't do this on my own.
But at the same time I need to do this. For myself.
(My mom told me my eyes are going to turn yellow from these pills. I think she's full of shit. she also wants me to delete a blog post! HA. Seriously. No.)
So anyways.
side effect of  Celexa, (which is the drug I'm on.)

• Increased risk of suicide. (Like it could get any worse?)
• Greatly increased energy (I need that.)
• severe trouble sleeping (Lol. No change.)
• Racing thoughts (No change)
• Unusually Grand Ideas.  (WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! (: )
• Excessive happiness or irritability. (No change)
• Talking more or faster than usual. (I'm not sure about this one.)
• Sexual Problems. (lol.)
• Yawning. (I was not aware that this was a side effect of anything.)  

So i'm super excited for unusually grand thoughts. I think that's going to be pretty bomb.

Oh so I'm engaged. My wedding is next fall. I'm so excited! I think I've found my dress! Like it's THE ONE.
Awwuh cuteeee!
I know I know. It's sudden and all, but when you feel something is right it's right.
And this feels so right.
Because it's not real.
(;
My aunt and I pretended that I was engaged and dress shopping and went and tried on wedding dresses to kill time.
And my god.
I look so fucking great in a ball gown.
Like Legits for real.
I'll post pictures when erika sends them to me.
But man. I look awesome
 

Eliza.

head over heels for this ed. so clean + beautiful, with a subtle sensuality.


I am so absolutely in love with this site,
Russh
and and and
Nasty Gal; nothin' nasty about her actually.

Oui Oui.

this Dior ring is on my need/want/must have list...
gotta hunt one down!

Bay field Apple Fest.

I went, recently, to the Bay Field Apple Fest with my wonderful Aunt, cousin, and my new adoptive mother!
It was the first time that I've ever been to this. And it was fun! I mean, there was a lot of walking and so much food to try, and so many things to look at! But it was a lot of fun!

I was also on the quest for the best crowd photo. This one might've been the winner. But I think I have better.

Mother and daughter. (I think)

Most definitely the BEST chinese I have EVER had. In my entire life. 

My first Apple (: 

It was SOOO gooooddddd. Me gusta. 

I do not know his name, but I love his style. 

You may think that I'm taking a pic of this girls butt, but really it's her bag of gold fish. 

Nina Ricci.

I stumbled upon this band once again. They remind me of middle school, and all of those confusing days.
Hah, I'm going to be saying that about highschool in just a few years soon.
It's so crazy to be thinking about life like that.
I think I know what i want to do.
UCLA.
for Business (I know math, but I can do it)
Textile, Appearal and Design.
Maybe some journalism tied in there somewhere.
Okay so maybe I don't know exactly what I want to go to school for,
but I have ideas of what I want to do when I grow up.
Like fashion.
Somehow.

I love Nina Ricci.
Nina Ricci Definitely had skin on her mind while creating this wonderful line. During spring/summer, I love to be able to show some skin that has been all covered up all winter. I feel that Nina's spring 2012 line is perfect for that reason. Women can make clothes look amazing even when showing a little skin, as long as it is in the right areas. She did this without making the models look too over baring. 





The middle dress is my FAVORITE!



The dress on the far right is just incredible!

Tossin' leaves.

I want oreos. But I also feel really fat right now. That's fine though, because I have some beautiful photos to share with you.

Me? Ish. The lighting= Beautiful.

Yeah so pretty much the greatest photo ever taken. 

So I received a warning ticket awhile ago on Martha street, but the people wrote Marble Street on the ticket.

Well I have now been to where I was supposed to have the ticket.

So I was doing a kart wheel. If you didn't notice... 

Also a lot of these photos came out as me herp derpin'.

Because when I herp, I derp to the max.

There were worse ones than this. But you get the point. I don't need to go embarassing myself on here now.

There are/were tons more photographs!

But the blog doesn't want to let me upload anymore to this blog. 

*sad face.