I was called fat once.
But not this time!
Tonight I will be in Minneapolis at an open call and a casting call.
Both for modeling.
I'm so nervous and excited!
I don't remember who the first one is with
but the second once is with Caryn Modeling Agencies.
I'm super pumped!!!
This could be my big break!
(If they don't break me like the last people...)
Wish me luck! :)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
God can be funny.
Well well.
It seems that I'm (finally) paying for my own mistakes.
Why's that?
Well it's not that I was caught in a lie, it was just being caught in a great mis-communication.
A great mis-communication.
But it really isn't a big deal.
But I guess that isn't for me to decide.
So I'd like everyone to cross their fingers and hope this blows over in a few days
because I've got a big trip planned this weekend.
Hm.
This is the hardest blog posting I've ever tried to post.
I think I'm getting sick again.
Because I don't want to blog, I don't feel like writing. I don't particularly feel like doing anything.
Loss of appetite, lethargy, the feeling of sinking into an abyss of which there is no return due to the fact that I don't care enough to return. Yes. That is how I feel.
And now if some of you are reading this could be a warning sign, a call for help. Whatever you wish to look at it as. And one person could be reading thinking I was in your room a few days ago and saw something that should have been alarming but wasn't and now you're thinking "wow, that's extremely alarming"
But don't fret too much mes amis because I wouldn't ever really let any of you know that I am capable of feeling any emotions but joy, happiness, confusion, and any other cute emotion due to the fact that no one really truly cares so what's the point of showing an emotion that no one cares about?
Thus I keep them locked up with smiles and gratitude.
God I'm cynical today. I think.
I am having the hardest time transitioning from a scene in the little idea that I have.
Hard time.
And I have had so many ideas about things that I wanted to blog about but I cannot remember for the life of me.
Oh!
I'm redoing my bedroom (: Exciting. Very Exciting.
My color theme currently: Chilled wine, elephant gray, and heavy cream,
My color theme now: This light blue color, and white.
Here are ideas that I'm looking at.
I know that i want all white bedding. The ceiling to be white. All of my walls blue, except the bottom half of my walls I want striped blue and white. My accent wall to be white, my closet will remain white. and yes. (:
Dream well
It seems that I'm (finally) paying for my own mistakes.
Why's that?
Well it's not that I was caught in a lie, it was just being caught in a great mis-communication.
A great mis-communication.
But it really isn't a big deal.
But I guess that isn't for me to decide.
So I'd like everyone to cross their fingers and hope this blows over in a few days
because I've got a big trip planned this weekend.
Hm.
This is the hardest blog posting I've ever tried to post.
I think I'm getting sick again.
Because I don't want to blog, I don't feel like writing. I don't particularly feel like doing anything.
Loss of appetite, lethargy, the feeling of sinking into an abyss of which there is no return due to the fact that I don't care enough to return. Yes. That is how I feel.
And now if some of you are reading this could be a warning sign, a call for help. Whatever you wish to look at it as. And one person could be reading thinking I was in your room a few days ago and saw something that should have been alarming but wasn't and now you're thinking "wow, that's extremely alarming"
But don't fret too much mes amis because I wouldn't ever really let any of you know that I am capable of feeling any emotions but joy, happiness, confusion, and any other cute emotion due to the fact that no one really truly cares so what's the point of showing an emotion that no one cares about?
Thus I keep them locked up with smiles and gratitude.
God I'm cynical today. I think.
I am having the hardest time transitioning from a scene in the little idea that I have.
Hard time.
And I have had so many ideas about things that I wanted to blog about but I cannot remember for the life of me.
Oh!
I'm redoing my bedroom (: Exciting. Very Exciting.
My color theme currently: Chilled wine, elephant gray, and heavy cream,
My color theme now: This light blue color, and white.
Here are ideas that I'm looking at.
I know that i want all white bedding. The ceiling to be white. All of my walls blue, except the bottom half of my walls I want striped blue and white. My accent wall to be white, my closet will remain white. and yes. (:
Dream well
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Google Docs? Not doctors, documents.
So for the most part i've stayed pretty un-savvy with the internet and all of it's wonderous things it has to offer such as all of the google services.
Which I've never truly ever used.
Ever.
I don't think I'll ever even use google plus (Probably when facebook becomes unpopular, but I'll probably be dead when that happens) But i've started to use google documents.
and so now when you want updates on Waiting For a Push you should go there.
Because that's where it will be once it's already been put into my notebook or vice versa.
It creates a nice break from writing paper and pencil, just nice quick writing or transfering from paper to internet
Just in case a house fire or soemthing happens.
Ha., I'd probably let myself burn to death along with all of my writings if I couldn't keep them.
They're part of me. You know?
Anyway.
go to this nifty place and read what I've written thus far. It's not all completely there.
Yet.
But soon.
:)
Which I've never truly ever used.
Ever.
I don't think I'll ever even use google plus (Probably when facebook becomes unpopular, but I'll probably be dead when that happens) But i've started to use google documents.
and so now when you want updates on Waiting For a Push you should go there.
Because that's where it will be once it's already been put into my notebook or vice versa.
It creates a nice break from writing paper and pencil, just nice quick writing or transfering from paper to internet
Just in case a house fire or soemthing happens.
Ha., I'd probably let myself burn to death along with all of my writings if I couldn't keep them.
They're part of me. You know?
Anyway.
go to this nifty place and read what I've written thus far. It's not all completely there.
Yet.
But soon.
:)
I once had an online relationship with a man named Dman.
^^ true story.
I was like eight.
I don't know if that really counts then.
Excerpts. Excerpts.
"Marco." I turned from my thoughts towards Regis. "What's the big grin for?"
I was happy but I hadn't realized that I had a smile on my face, not a largely noticeable one anyway.
"Rissa, that red head girl emailed me." I said.
"Coo bro'. Nudes?" The cocky smile on his face was annoying.
"No. Just an email." I was elated that she emailed me. Not even Regis's dumb comments could kill my buzz.
"So she's playing hard to get? Did she send you dirty dialogue? Is she home alone and feeling lonely? Is there a mapquest link to her hosue?" Some times Regis really just didn't know when too much was too much.
"Dude, seriously. She just had questions about 30 Days."
"Yeah? I know you're all into 30 Days and shit but, I've never seen you smile like that over starving African kids." He sounded all joking, but he wanted to know what was in the email. "You really shouldn't smile about dying kids. That's sick."
"you're so annoying, shut up!" I took a deep breath and smiled, "Well, I don't know. She asked for my number." I said sheepishly.
Eh. I feel like its trying too hard.
I was like eight.
I don't know if that really counts then.
Excerpts. Excerpts.
"Marco." I turned from my thoughts towards Regis. "What's the big grin for?"
I was happy but I hadn't realized that I had a smile on my face, not a largely noticeable one anyway.
"Rissa, that red head girl emailed me." I said.
"Coo bro'. Nudes?" The cocky smile on his face was annoying.
"No. Just an email." I was elated that she emailed me. Not even Regis's dumb comments could kill my buzz.
"So she's playing hard to get? Did she send you dirty dialogue? Is she home alone and feeling lonely? Is there a mapquest link to her hosue?" Some times Regis really just didn't know when too much was too much.
"Dude, seriously. She just had questions about 30 Days."
"Yeah? I know you're all into 30 Days and shit but, I've never seen you smile like that over starving African kids." He sounded all joking, but he wanted to know what was in the email. "You really shouldn't smile about dying kids. That's sick."
"you're so annoying, shut up!" I took a deep breath and smiled, "Well, I don't know. She asked for my number." I said sheepishly.
Eh. I feel like its trying too hard.
You know, I like to hang loose. Yeah? So does my crotch!
Well today was a very interesting day. (Don't get too excited. It's not like I fought bears in Alaska or anything.)
I went to canal with my brother and his friend because they wanted to go jump off of the ice house (this building somewhat submersed in water in which young people jump off of into the water because... it's fun?)
Anyway so while they were doing that I decided to walk around downtown and everywhere and such and I did
and then I ran into some nice friends and hung out at their house and watched them cook steak which was really interesting. I feel safe to say taht I would let them cook me a nice dinner. But I don't know if they could cook a nice vegetarian mean ;) I am putting that out as a challenge.
But while they were proposing business plans I was writing.
and here is what I wrote.
This is a generation of nothing.
This isn't a generation at all.
We are soulless people on a conquest to figure out who we are.
But we already know.
We know we are nothing.
We know we are living bodies soul searching through alleys at night for ourselves.
We are having casual sex looking for love.
Looking for acceptance of ourselves.
We know we won't find it .
But we reach the stars.
We reach the heavens.
We reach a point of ecstasy in which for a few animalistic seconds we find ourselves.
But in reality. In the sheets. In the streets. On the table. Against the wall.
We're only having orgasms. Only random impersonal encounters of sexual desires.
And then we continue to look for ourselves.
We look for our generation at the bottom of bottles. You can look in any bottle you wish, though the harder the drink the easier to find.
The more bottles you look into the more pieces to the puzzles you have.
We search for ourselves in smoke filled rooms. We look a here.
We look a there. We look a everywhere.
And then we see colors, we see faces.
We hear voices of all races.
We think it's ourselves. We believe it's our souls finding us through quick drugs.
Small white pills tell us who we love. Small white pills tell us who we are.
Then they leave our bodies and leave us wanting more.
They leave us with only a taste of a true generation.
Because we are not a generation. We are masses of bodies in areas scattered in this lobotomy room of life.
We wait in line to be rammed in the eye and to forget it all.
To forget that we don't know who we are.
To forget that we are not a whole.
We are single organisms looking for experience.
Because we have none.
We can't work because we don't know how and so we are on
living welfare.
I went to canal with my brother and his friend because they wanted to go jump off of the ice house (this building somewhat submersed in water in which young people jump off of into the water because... it's fun?)
Anyway so while they were doing that I decided to walk around downtown and everywhere and such and I did
and then I ran into some nice friends and hung out at their house and watched them cook steak which was really interesting. I feel safe to say taht I would let them cook me a nice dinner. But I don't know if they could cook a nice vegetarian mean ;) I am putting that out as a challenge.
But while they were proposing business plans I was writing.
and here is what I wrote.
This is a generation of nothing.
This isn't a generation at all.
We are soulless people on a conquest to figure out who we are.
But we already know.
We know we are nothing.
We know we are living bodies soul searching through alleys at night for ourselves.
We are having casual sex looking for love.
Looking for acceptance of ourselves.
We know we won't find it .
But we reach the stars.
We reach the heavens.
We reach a point of ecstasy in which for a few animalistic seconds we find ourselves.
But in reality. In the sheets. In the streets. On the table. Against the wall.
We're only having orgasms. Only random impersonal encounters of sexual desires.
And then we continue to look for ourselves.
We look for our generation at the bottom of bottles. You can look in any bottle you wish, though the harder the drink the easier to find.
The more bottles you look into the more pieces to the puzzles you have.
We search for ourselves in smoke filled rooms. We look a here.
We look a there. We look a everywhere.
And then we see colors, we see faces.
We hear voices of all races.
We think it's ourselves. We believe it's our souls finding us through quick drugs.
Small white pills tell us who we love. Small white pills tell us who we are.
Then they leave our bodies and leave us wanting more.
They leave us with only a taste of a true generation.
Because we are not a generation. We are masses of bodies in areas scattered in this lobotomy room of life.
We wait in line to be rammed in the eye and to forget it all.
To forget that we don't know who we are.
To forget that we are not a whole.
We are single organisms looking for experience.
Because we have none.
We can't work because we don't know how and so we are on
living welfare.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Oh the many lives you will live.
A few days ago I sent a facebook message to a family friend of mine named Anne. She's from Quebec. She's the sweetest person I have ever met. She's so incredible too! But Anyway I sent a message to her because I hadn't heard or seen her in awhile. My aunt had told me a story about how she was in this retreat where she couldn't really talk to anyone and it was all about getting to know herself and getting closer to god. (or whatever respective higher power you believe in that wouldn't offend you)
And in the message she said that she had noticed all of my pictures that I had posted recently and
that she had remembered* a conversation that we had had at my aunts wedding (ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR AGO!) about how I really desperately wanted (still want to) change the world. Make an impact somewhere somehow because I feel like I'm a wasted piece of living space if I don't do something to make this world that much better by doing something. ANYTHING!
And so really I know that I can't just go out and change the entire world. So I just try to listen to people and to the things that they have to say; like their worries or things that are bothering them. Even the happy things too. Because people just want to be heard in some kind of way. That's really all we want. To be heard and listened to, just so we know that we matter. That we're important.
I can't really remember what exactly I wanted to blog about before coming on here.
But I guess this is fine too.
Have a good morning everyone
Friday, July 22, 2011
Cat's are not for hipsters. Whatever *that* is.
I have a glorious cat named Hank.
He's pretty much the best person in the entire world.
I love him, I cuddle him. I rub his tummy and behind his ears.
Yeah he gives me some attention, Like two seconds of it
and then moves to the other side of the room.
And guess what?
It just makes me want more.
That's right, Hank. I want more of your flabby little kitty body.
So my weekend did not go as planned (AND IT'S NOT EVEN SATURDAY YET!)
I haven't completely left for the cities.
I canceled a meeting with a fricken talent scout. (It's okay. I have a better meeting thing scheduled for tuesday that is much more legitimate than this one)
I don't think I"m going to Valley fair anymore. Which totally blows because I fricken want to ride the dumb power tower.
I've never been on it. And I fucking want to.
I don't know.
It's just, it's an okay start to my weekend so far.
I've just eaten like two buffets in a row.
That's right,. TWo.
And when I go to buffets I eat like a fat kid in a buffet.
My record you ask?
Seven heaping plates of food. And I don't skimp out on desert. I just unbutton my pants and keep going.
(That's okay too, because I only wear pretty underwear and unless it's underwear with no words or just words on the butt there's usually words on the front half. Which mean unbuttoned pants has a whole message for the world. Last time it was "Crazy in bed" What do you think about that? You shouldn't. Because that's dirty) ANyway. This time I had an entire plate of mashed potatoes. I fuckin' love mashed potatoes. And a huge salad. and soup. and weird little side salad things (like picnic salads) and buns. (I love buns hun) and a sherbet parfait and a fruit pastry thing and rhubarb pie and a four layer chocolate cake with white chocolate filling and I don't nkow there was so much food. Like six kiddie cocktails. I love those too.
I love buffets. You can eat anything and everything and everyone eats like it's going out of style.
Next time you go to a buffet look at the way everyone eats. They FILL their plates run back to their seats, cram as much food as possible into their mouths and run right back to fill their plates again. I am guilty of this, but seriously. The food isn't going anywhere. If it does they'll put more out.
Oh food.
Why you gotta be so delicious?
Actually no.
Butter <3
I love butter.
Buttered popcorn.
Buttered bread.
Buttered everything.
Buttered popcorn flavored jelly belly jelly beans; Those are the best.
I ate one and cried once. But that was because it was a sad day.
It was so good. though.
He's pretty much the best person in the entire world.
I love him, I cuddle him. I rub his tummy and behind his ears.
Yeah he gives me some attention, Like two seconds of it
and then moves to the other side of the room.
And guess what?
It just makes me want more.
That's right, Hank. I want more of your flabby little kitty body.
So my weekend did not go as planned (AND IT'S NOT EVEN SATURDAY YET!)
I haven't completely left for the cities.
I canceled a meeting with a fricken talent scout. (It's okay. I have a better meeting thing scheduled for tuesday that is much more legitimate than this one)
I don't think I"m going to Valley fair anymore. Which totally blows because I fricken want to ride the dumb power tower.
I've never been on it. And I fucking want to.
I don't know.
It's just, it's an okay start to my weekend so far.
I've just eaten like two buffets in a row.
That's right,. TWo.
And when I go to buffets I eat like a fat kid in a buffet.
My record you ask?
Seven heaping plates of food. And I don't skimp out on desert. I just unbutton my pants and keep going.
(That's okay too, because I only wear pretty underwear and unless it's underwear with no words or just words on the butt there's usually words on the front half. Which mean unbuttoned pants has a whole message for the world. Last time it was "Crazy in bed" What do you think about that? You shouldn't. Because that's dirty) ANyway. This time I had an entire plate of mashed potatoes. I fuckin' love mashed potatoes. And a huge salad. and soup. and weird little side salad things (like picnic salads) and buns. (I love buns hun) and a sherbet parfait and a fruit pastry thing and rhubarb pie and a four layer chocolate cake with white chocolate filling and I don't nkow there was so much food. Like six kiddie cocktails. I love those too.
I love buffets. You can eat anything and everything and everyone eats like it's going out of style.
Next time you go to a buffet look at the way everyone eats. They FILL their plates run back to their seats, cram as much food as possible into their mouths and run right back to fill their plates again. I am guilty of this, but seriously. The food isn't going anywhere. If it does they'll put more out.
Oh food.
Why you gotta be so delicious?
Actually no.
Butter <3
I love butter.
Buttered popcorn.
Buttered bread.
Buttered everything.
Buttered popcorn flavored jelly belly jelly beans; Those are the best.
I ate one and cried once. But that was because it was a sad day.
It was so good. though.
Folie A deu
I now have two blogs. The second one is going to be the beginning of a fashion blog while this one will stay
just a nice little blog about my thoughts and writing and things that are interesting.
Elle Mode
Why Elle? That's my modeling alter ego. Morgana Elle. It's the same but different at the same time.
I wanted to be Morgana Valdez. Because that is my grandmothers maiden name. But I was told that I was adding an ethnicity to my face which I guess people are still crazy obsessed about. I don't think so though. I think it would add mystery to me still. Morgana Elle sounds really "white" which is fine. But I'm not.
So I had a weird out of body/de ja vu moment. I was driving back to my aunts after picking up my cousins from Sturgeon Lake from their mom. And we were passing the paper mill in Duluth and my little cousin says
"That's where they make clouds!"
Which is weird because When I was her same age we passed the same place and I said,
"That's where my dad works. He makes clouds for the world."
So yeah we're pretty much awesome for having such awesome views on life.
Which got me thinking. I'm kind of a daddy's girl. I know that sounds weird or whatever but I've always had this adoration for my father that has never failed. He's always been there and has always been proud of me. He's supported everything I've ever wanted to do, even the things that he didn't believe in (my school choices.)
And then that made me think of this school field trip that I went to during my freshman year. We were walking back to school and my father is an electrition (was, he started his own company now) and he was working downtown and I guess he saw me but didn't say anything because he was afraid that I would be embarrassed by him but instead (to his surprise) I called out to him and said hi. When he told me this story he kinda cried. He's an emotional man; when it comes to his family and having pride in his family and such. I'm glad he's my dad. We get into fights and he can be extremely irrational. I'm extremely irrational. It's all in the family.
My aunt Katie is in town and she's PREGNANT! WHOA! haha, but her and my mother don't hate each other but whatever comes right before hate that's how they feel about each other. And It's just very awkward because today is the barbeque to say goodbye to Katie and Nick (her husband) and Jenna (my cousin, Katie's daughter, Nicks Step daughter) and my mother lasted a whole five minutes here. I don't think they spoke a single word to one another.
Ah, this is the days of our lives.
just a nice little blog about my thoughts and writing and things that are interesting.
Elle Mode
Why Elle? That's my modeling alter ego. Morgana Elle. It's the same but different at the same time.
I wanted to be Morgana Valdez. Because that is my grandmothers maiden name. But I was told that I was adding an ethnicity to my face which I guess people are still crazy obsessed about. I don't think so though. I think it would add mystery to me still. Morgana Elle sounds really "white" which is fine. But I'm not.
So I had a weird out of body/de ja vu moment. I was driving back to my aunts after picking up my cousins from Sturgeon Lake from their mom. And we were passing the paper mill in Duluth and my little cousin says
"That's where they make clouds!"
Which is weird because When I was her same age we passed the same place and I said,
"That's where my dad works. He makes clouds for the world."
So yeah we're pretty much awesome for having such awesome views on life.
Which got me thinking. I'm kind of a daddy's girl. I know that sounds weird or whatever but I've always had this adoration for my father that has never failed. He's always been there and has always been proud of me. He's supported everything I've ever wanted to do, even the things that he didn't believe in (my school choices.)
And then that made me think of this school field trip that I went to during my freshman year. We were walking back to school and my father is an electrition (was, he started his own company now) and he was working downtown and I guess he saw me but didn't say anything because he was afraid that I would be embarrassed by him but instead (to his surprise) I called out to him and said hi. When he told me this story he kinda cried. He's an emotional man; when it comes to his family and having pride in his family and such. I'm glad he's my dad. We get into fights and he can be extremely irrational. I'm extremely irrational. It's all in the family.
My aunt Katie is in town and she's PREGNANT! WHOA! haha, but her and my mother don't hate each other but whatever comes right before hate that's how they feel about each other. And It's just very awkward because today is the barbeque to say goodbye to Katie and Nick (her husband) and Jenna (my cousin, Katie's daughter, Nicks Step daughter) and my mother lasted a whole five minutes here. I don't think they spoke a single word to one another.
Ah, this is the days of our lives.
Hey can I have your number?
No. I don't have one.
And so I won't have one for awhile.
I need a plan.
I can't really think about what to blog.
About.
So I just decided to tell you how I don't have a phone. Enjoy
And so I won't have one for awhile.
I need a plan.
I can't really think about what to blog.
About.
So I just decided to tell you how I don't have a phone. Enjoy
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
*Sigh**DeepBreath**HeavyBreathing**Suffocating**Hyperventilating*
"Is that a hickey or a bruise?" Oh Katy Perry.
Interesting day. Fo' sho' Bro'.
I just feel so weird. Weird. Weird.
I'm so NERVOUS.
I do not know how to walk like a model. And tomorrow and a few other times until monday that's what I'm doing.
I'm going to these people's offices. I'm going to smile.
I'm going to open my mouth and let words fall out,
"Hi, My name is Morgan Elle, It's an absolute pleasure to meet you!"
And then they'll say something like,
"Welcome Morgan. It's nice to have you here. Let's see your port,"
I'll hand it to them. They'll flip through it. Glancing up at me then back at the page.
I'll just smile and stand there, because what else am I supposed to do. I cannot let them know that my insides are being thrashed around in such a hectic matter that it's simply a miracle that I will even be standing.
And then They will scrutinize my body. They'll see every imperfection. Every layer of fat and extra tissue that shouldn't be there. I'll keep eating. I'll keep doing what I'm doing but, I'll work harder. The moment they deny me my one and only dream I will work harder to get it.
And then once they've taken away my last shred of self worth they'll ask me to walk for them. I don't know how. But I'll try. I'll do my best. It won't be good enough, so they'll smile and say that I'm good but not the right fit for whatever it is they want me to do. And then I'll go on with my day. The end.
Thank God For Youtube.
Teach me.
I'msonervous.I'msonervous.I'msonervous.
Interesting day. Fo' sho' Bro'.
I just feel so weird. Weird. Weird.
I'm so NERVOUS.
I do not know how to walk like a model. And tomorrow and a few other times until monday that's what I'm doing.
I'm going to these people's offices. I'm going to smile.
I'm going to open my mouth and let words fall out,
"Hi, My name is Morgan Elle, It's an absolute pleasure to meet you!"
And then they'll say something like,
"Welcome Morgan. It's nice to have you here. Let's see your port,"
I'll hand it to them. They'll flip through it. Glancing up at me then back at the page.
I'll just smile and stand there, because what else am I supposed to do. I cannot let them know that my insides are being thrashed around in such a hectic matter that it's simply a miracle that I will even be standing.
And then They will scrutinize my body. They'll see every imperfection. Every layer of fat and extra tissue that shouldn't be there. I'll keep eating. I'll keep doing what I'm doing but, I'll work harder. The moment they deny me my one and only dream I will work harder to get it.
And then once they've taken away my last shred of self worth they'll ask me to walk for them. I don't know how. But I'll try. I'll do my best. It won't be good enough, so they'll smile and say that I'm good but not the right fit for whatever it is they want me to do. And then I'll go on with my day. The end.
Thank God For Youtube.
Teach me.
I'msonervous.I'msonervous.I'msonervous.
Plain and Simple. What an oxymoron!
There's no such thing as plain and simple. And Yes I do realize that I did not use oxymoron correctly.
Do I care? NO.
So I've decided to only put COOL facebook statuses up, (because I'm that lame.) And all of my other random whining is going to go on here. So right now instead of telling facebook I'm going to tell all of my *millions of readers how I'm using the mail that I get from colleges to write down casting call times for modeling agencies.
(I WILL GO TO COLLEGE! ... someday.)
So far I've got....
Wehmann Models & Talent
Caryn Model and Talent Management
Agency Models and Talent
Privileged Models <-- their site has loud music, just warning.
But I want
Wilhelmina
Ford Models
Next Models
But the more I look. The more depressed I become.
Because I am not tall enough,
But at the same time I just want to strut into the casting call with a "Fuck 'em" attitude and be the most baddass chick there. I want them to look at me, and see the potential (because really that's what they want) and not notice that I'm only five one. And then I want my attitude, my presence to be so large that you cannot ignore the fact that i'm there. And then bam. I'm getting calls from Chanel. Givenchy, D&G, Stella Mcartney, Calvin Klein, You know. The big names. I'll be happy. Or atleast, I'll try to find happiness in it.
Do I care? NO.
So I've decided to only put COOL facebook statuses up, (because I'm that lame.) And all of my other random whining is going to go on here. So right now instead of telling facebook I'm going to tell all of my *millions of readers how I'm using the mail that I get from colleges to write down casting call times for modeling agencies.
(I WILL GO TO COLLEGE! ... someday.)
So far I've got....
Wehmann Models & Talent
Caryn Model and Talent Management
Agency Models and Talent
Privileged Models <-- their site has loud music, just warning.
But I want
Wilhelmina
Ford Models
Next Models
But the more I look. The more depressed I become.
Because I am not tall enough,
But at the same time I just want to strut into the casting call with a "Fuck 'em" attitude and be the most baddass chick there. I want them to look at me, and see the potential (because really that's what they want) and not notice that I'm only five one. And then I want my attitude, my presence to be so large that you cannot ignore the fact that i'm there. And then bam. I'm getting calls from Chanel. Givenchy, D&G, Stella Mcartney, Calvin Klein, You know. The big names. I'll be happy. Or atleast, I'll try to find happiness in it.
A collection. Not for you. For me.
This is a collection of images from photographers from the beginning of the month.
This isn't for you to goggle at. It's for me. To have a collection somewhere.
This isn't for you to goggle at. It's for me. To have a collection somewhere.
93 pounds of ________.
Many things.
These things include: Self loathing. Imperfections. Doubt. Hate. Worthlessness.
And yet, I know they aren't true. But I believe them. I believe them as religious people believe so
deeply in their deity. I believe that I am a waste of mass. I am too much mass. I need to down size. I need to
become less of something. I need to become a name. A brand. A clothes hanger. A person who feels comfortable walking in front of talent scouts. As they scour my body with their eyes. And already I know I can take a good picture, but already I know that my body is not good enough. It does not show what my visual potential behind a lens can create. It does not show my raw ambiguity that cowers behind my voluptuous lips, my bedroom eyes. These bedroom eyes that shouldn't even be there because I am sixteen. But there they are. With my parted lips, a small breath escaping because it looks hot and heavy. Because It is a trick I learned from a photographer. Because it is a way to make my sixteen year old self look older, look wiser. Look wiser in things that I should know nothing about. But really I know all too much about. And I am to portray myself in such a light. Because.
Sex. Sells.
And I am being paid to sell things, aren't I? So I should sex it out. I should part those lips. I should have beguiling eyes that draw you into a world of limbo to where you can think of nothing but the way my eyes stare and those damned parted lips that are spread so perfectly you need to kiss them. You feel the need to press yourself against them. Even though I do not want that. I do not ask for such things. But it sells. And I am the close rack for the day. I am the mannequin selling this seasons latest style. That is all I want to do sell. But You insist on more. You insist that I must give you what I am offering. And it appears I am selling sex.
What makes a model more than a stripper? A hooker? A prostitute? They do nothing but use their body to give you something visually appealing. But I like to think that I am more than that. I like to think that I am more than a stripper,a hooker, a prostitute walking the streets; leaning up against a pole.
I am more than that.
I just watched a documentary on Sarah Ziff (actually it was by her.) It was very interesting. Inspiring even. And yet, it's all that I want still. I want this fast life of Paris, Milan, Japan, etc. And back again. And All over again. And repetition of hair, wardrobe, makeup, walk. Repeat. Work out eight hours a day. Eat foods that hardly have any substance but carry every nutritional value necessary for life. I want that. It sounds ludicrous, really. But that is, has been, my dream for the better portion of my life. It's all that I've ever wanted. I've wanted it for so long. And somehow the stars have lined up and are slowly revealing to me a life that I can have, a life that I want. It's wonderful. And as I'm reaching for this I accidentally glance down; actually I notice everyone else glancing down. At me. Because I do not have the right proportions. I am not six feet tall with my weight. I am five foot one with my weight. And As far as my knowledge goes unless I'm scouted out by someone high up in the industry I have a one in a million chance of realizing my dreams.
Someone once said that modeling is what pretty people do when they don't know what to do with themselves. While I understand this. I disagree. There are people who know what they want to do. And it happens to be this. And for me that's how it goes.
I just I want it so badly. But I cannot have it. But I keep on striving because maybe I'll get lucky somehow and get it.
I want it.
These things include: Self loathing. Imperfections. Doubt. Hate. Worthlessness.
And yet, I know they aren't true. But I believe them. I believe them as religious people believe so
deeply in their deity. I believe that I am a waste of mass. I am too much mass. I need to down size. I need to
become less of something. I need to become a name. A brand. A clothes hanger. A person who feels comfortable walking in front of talent scouts. As they scour my body with their eyes. And already I know I can take a good picture, but already I know that my body is not good enough. It does not show what my visual potential behind a lens can create. It does not show my raw ambiguity that cowers behind my voluptuous lips, my bedroom eyes. These bedroom eyes that shouldn't even be there because I am sixteen. But there they are. With my parted lips, a small breath escaping because it looks hot and heavy. Because It is a trick I learned from a photographer. Because it is a way to make my sixteen year old self look older, look wiser. Look wiser in things that I should know nothing about. But really I know all too much about. And I am to portray myself in such a light. Because.
Sex. Sells.
And I am being paid to sell things, aren't I? So I should sex it out. I should part those lips. I should have beguiling eyes that draw you into a world of limbo to where you can think of nothing but the way my eyes stare and those damned parted lips that are spread so perfectly you need to kiss them. You feel the need to press yourself against them. Even though I do not want that. I do not ask for such things. But it sells. And I am the close rack for the day. I am the mannequin selling this seasons latest style. That is all I want to do sell. But You insist on more. You insist that I must give you what I am offering. And it appears I am selling sex.
What makes a model more than a stripper? A hooker? A prostitute? They do nothing but use their body to give you something visually appealing. But I like to think that I am more than that. I like to think that I am more than a stripper,a hooker, a prostitute walking the streets; leaning up against a pole.
I am more than that.
I just watched a documentary on Sarah Ziff (actually it was by her.) It was very interesting. Inspiring even. And yet, it's all that I want still. I want this fast life of Paris, Milan, Japan, etc. And back again. And All over again. And repetition of hair, wardrobe, makeup, walk. Repeat. Work out eight hours a day. Eat foods that hardly have any substance but carry every nutritional value necessary for life. I want that. It sounds ludicrous, really. But that is, has been, my dream for the better portion of my life. It's all that I've ever wanted. I've wanted it for so long. And somehow the stars have lined up and are slowly revealing to me a life that I can have, a life that I want. It's wonderful. And as I'm reaching for this I accidentally glance down; actually I notice everyone else glancing down. At me. Because I do not have the right proportions. I am not six feet tall with my weight. I am five foot one with my weight. And As far as my knowledge goes unless I'm scouted out by someone high up in the industry I have a one in a million chance of realizing my dreams.
Someone once said that modeling is what pretty people do when they don't know what to do with themselves. While I understand this. I disagree. There are people who know what they want to do. And it happens to be this. And for me that's how it goes.
I just I want it so badly. But I cannot have it. But I keep on striving because maybe I'll get lucky somehow and get it.
I want it.
Female Model Wanted(paid) (Twin Cities,MN)
2011-07-19T15:08:02-05:00
Faceless Nude Female Modeling (Minnepolis)
2011-07-19T10:06:03-05:00
Female model 18+ needed (Maplewood)
2011-07-13T14:23:46-05:00
Female models 18+, lingerie/swimwear shoot (St. Paul / WI)
2011-07-14T17:57:08-05:00
Artist looking for female models for new body of work (Minneapolis)
2011-07-19T09:29:00-05:00
Amateur female models needed (twin cities)
2011-07-19T14:00:18-05:00
Bizarre photographer seeks outrageous model (St. Paul)
2011-07-11T08:58:58-05:00
Welcome to my Life.
Here's my most recent picture. Just to keep you updated.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Chanel.Chanel.Chanel.
So I'm looking at Chanel's Fall Collection and I'm totally in envy.
But at the same time I'm thinking
"LAGERFIELD! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? MADEMOISELLE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!"
Chanel Fall 2011 Collection:
These are three from this fall's collection that I absolutely LOVED. The rest were VERY questioning of Lagerfields authenticity of keeping up what Mademoiselle worked her entire life to keep up.
Go look at a lot of this insanity.
Coctail ensamble . Ca. 1964. It's beautiful. Timeless. I need something like this to wear.
Evening Dress : 1926-27
Her designs were so simple and perfect and beautiful. They were high fashion without being excessively unwearable.
Lagerfield wasn't bad in the beginning....
Lagerfield-Chanel; 1992
It still has the Coco essence. But It obviously isn't Chanel-Chanel.
But at the same time I'm thinking
"LAGERFIELD! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? MADEMOISELLE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!"
Chanel Fall 2011 Collection:
Go look at a lot of this insanity.
Coctail ensamble . Ca. 1964. It's beautiful. Timeless. I need something like this to wear. Evening Dress : 1926-27Her designs were so simple and perfect and beautiful. They were high fashion without being excessively unwearable.
Lagerfield wasn't bad in the beginning....
Lagerfield-Chanel; 1992It still has the Coco essence. But It obviously isn't Chanel-Chanel.
Things I would like to do with my life.
So here is a story, it's not very long, because it's not a story that you can write in stone. Or write so completely and so surely. It's the story of how I would like to see my life.
I would like to learn french. Better yet, I will set this in stone, I Will learn french.
I want to live in a hotel in Paris, preferable the Ritz.
I want to live a life so creatively. I want to design my own clothing line. One so beautiful that it inspires other little girls and boys to do the same.
I want to write a book. I want to write many books. I hope to string my words so tightly together that it's complete and whole and that when the person finishes they feel the same. I hope they feel complete and whole and better as a person for reading such a novel.
I want to love so absolutely and wholly with my entire self that I could never do any one wrong. That they would love me back just the same.
I want to say everything on my mind. Everything that I feel needs to be said. I want to have my words ring out so clearly and truly that even my mumbles are heard across the universe.
I want to live a life completely.
I would like to learn french. Better yet, I will set this in stone, I Will learn french.
I want to live in a hotel in Paris, preferable the Ritz.
I want to live a life so creatively. I want to design my own clothing line. One so beautiful that it inspires other little girls and boys to do the same.
I want to write a book. I want to write many books. I hope to string my words so tightly together that it's complete and whole and that when the person finishes they feel the same. I hope they feel complete and whole and better as a person for reading such a novel.
I want to love so absolutely and wholly with my entire self that I could never do any one wrong. That they would love me back just the same.
I want to say everything on my mind. Everything that I feel needs to be said. I want to have my words ring out so clearly and truly that even my mumbles are heard across the universe.
I want to live a life completely.
I"M NOT FIRED! :D
So it was a slight misunderstanding.
I will not be losing my job. (Thank jesus... kinda)
I hate that place, but they're so laid back about everything that it's nice working there.
Because I don't really do anything.
haha.
So I'm not a big "facebooker" so to speak, but I've become addicted to having ten plus "like's" on a status.
I don't know why. It's the weirdest thing I could ever really like. You know?
But I love it.
And so now I find myself thinking about all kinds of things that I can set as my status in hopes that people will "Like" it. It's sick really.
I don't like anyone else's statuses or pictures or anything. I just want them to like mine.
I've been thinking of just about anything. And then when I'm about to post it I get like a second opinion from myself on it. Like "uhh should I REALLY post that?" but then my want to make everyone laugh and "like" it over rule my voice of reason who is screaming in the back of my mind saying "DON"T POST THAT! YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH YOUR FAMILY!" but I click go anyway.
Most recent post?
wouldn't do much for a Klondike Bar, but I'd do some pretty raunchy stuff for a Krispy Kreme.
Yeah. I don't even like either really.
I will not be losing my job. (Thank jesus... kinda)
I hate that place, but they're so laid back about everything that it's nice working there.
Because I don't really do anything.
haha.
So I'm not a big "facebooker" so to speak, but I've become addicted to having ten plus "like's" on a status.
I don't know why. It's the weirdest thing I could ever really like. You know?
But I love it.
And so now I find myself thinking about all kinds of things that I can set as my status in hopes that people will "Like" it. It's sick really.
I don't like anyone else's statuses or pictures or anything. I just want them to like mine.
I've been thinking of just about anything. And then when I'm about to post it I get like a second opinion from myself on it. Like "uhh should I REALLY post that?" but then my want to make everyone laugh and "like" it over rule my voice of reason who is screaming in the back of my mind saying "DON"T POST THAT! YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH YOUR FAMILY!" but I click go anyway.
Most recent post?
wouldn't do much for a Klondike Bar, but I'd do some pretty raunchy stuff for a Krispy Kreme.
Yeah. I don't even like either really.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Oh Katy Perry, you're so scandalous.
Alrighty.
So
I
Think
I'm in trouble;
At work.
Actually.
I know so.
Because I forgot to clean up one night.
I was mad.
Now I'll be in trouble.
Maybe even lose my job!
Oh well.
I hate working there.
Except for their food.
I love the food.
So do my love handles.
Oh well.
I've wanted to quit for awhile.
A long while.
Alrighty.
So
I
Think
I'm in trouble;
At work.
Actually.
I know so.
Because I forgot to clean up one night.
I was mad.
Now I'll be in trouble.
Maybe even lose my job!
Oh well.
I hate working there.
Except for their food.
I love the food.
So do my love handles.
Oh well.
I've wanted to quit for awhile.
A long while.
Monday, July 18, 2011
I shall dub this the summer of the phone that Never was.
I. HAVE. SO. MUCH. TO. BLOG. ABOUT.
Seriously bro'.
Well for one before I start on my list (Which is more like a short story about things to blog about now...) I just need to say something. Actually now two things because my brain was on like twelve different tangents at the same time while I was thinking... ANYWAY.
2.) I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO COLLEGE FOR. FUCKIN' FINALLY. (I'll probably switch majors like twelve times in college anyway though...) BUT RIGHT NOW. It's going to be a nice English major with a minor in fashion design or like journalism, Idk something like that. ^-^ fuck yeah.
Anyway, Ugh. now to the big long list of things I'm going to just name and mention small things about becasue I don't totally remember.
AH! I'll Number Bullet them! ORGANIZATION RULES! lol... I hate organizing. The mess is a form of organization.
Seriously bro'.
Well for one before I start on my list (Which is more like a short story about things to blog about now...) I just need to say something. Actually now two things because my brain was on like twelve different tangents at the same time while I was thinking... ANYWAY.
- I LOVE COCO CHANEL. Not just the brand itself, but the woman who is Chanel. I finished reading a book about her (and basically the rules of being a wonderful woman, who is just in all cases extraordinary) and I fell in love with her. She's everything (except with love, but I guess with love she wouldn't be Coco) I want to be. And Could ever hope to be. She's the most fantastic, interesting woman I have ever read about.
2.) I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO COLLEGE FOR. FUCKIN' FINALLY. (I'll probably switch majors like twelve times in college anyway though...) BUT RIGHT NOW. It's going to be a nice English major with a minor in fashion design or like journalism, Idk something like that. ^-^ fuck yeah.
Anyway, Ugh. now to the big long list of things I'm going to just name and mention small things about becasue I don't totally remember.
AH! I'll Number Bullet them! ORGANIZATION RULES! lol... I hate organizing. The mess is a form of organization.
- TEN FUCKIN' DOLLAR JUICY ENERGY KED SNEAKERS.
Ten fucking dollars. I'm so great. I should really thingk about being a personal shopper or something. Guess how much they are on ebay? Fifty. Bitches. These things are so fucking cool. Seriously. They lace up the side. And guess what else. It was meant to be becasue the LAST PAIR Was in MY SIZE. Bitches. I love having tiny feet. Best sizes.
- The Gospel according to Coco Chanel. (Hence my new obsession with her.) I learned so much about this AMAZING WOMAN. she is so great. Seriously. Everyone should read this book. there are so many just life lessons that actually make sense (you know what I mean what I say that... Uncle Jack at family reunions telling you how You need to be a docile woman for the husband who is coming to sweep you off of your feet and all you can think about is "No. I will not fucking succumb to some fucking prick. I am my own woman!" But you'd never really say that.) But no REAL LIFE LESSONS! Like "Lesson: Fuck 'em" So true Coco, so true.
- I took a cold shower; because I wanted to. Actually since this original Idea. I've taken two. The second one was MUCH better than thefirst, just sayin'... So the first one happened to be after running out in 90 degree weather. What? Hot weather, loose muscles, less chance of hurting myself. Besides heat stroke. But I love the heat. It's so comfortable. But anyway, So I turned the shower on, slightly colder than usual. ANd WOw. I see why people do this. It's not insane like I thought it was. It's actually a bit refreshing! And Idk, the whole experience was interesting over all. Like it was cool but it warmed at the touch of my skin. The second cold shower is a personal experience, not to be shared on the blog site. Because it was wonderful.
- Personal Shopping and the wonders of it. Well. I don't feel like blogging about it anymoer.
- My great closet (or soon to be) So I've talked about this a lot. The want to make my closet trendy and cool. And it's come down to two things. 1.) Actually going through my closet, baggin' clothes, AND NOT REOPENING THOSE BAGS BECASUE i NEED A LAZY SHIRT. NO WAY JOSE. I WILL NOT GO BACK TO HAVING LAZY CLOTHES. TRENDY PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT LAZY SHIT.2.) Money. But i've realized (thanks to Coco!) that being trendy and having style is completely up to you. So no I don't need money to be cool. I just need to be cool.
- Modeling. Modeling. Modeling. Well everyone, Do not ever make plans with me on thursdays from this thursday forward. Why you ask? Because I'll be in the cities modeling and such. And walking (Which I FUCKING NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO!) And once the nice talent scout is like "Damn morgan. We've been waiting for someone like you to pop up in the industry" I'll be swimming in my dreams. AHHHH.
- Running. Excercising. Becoming as fit as can be. I bought new running shoes.
Well I can't find my exact shoes. But they're kinda like this I think... Haha anyway. So I purchased them onsale (I know, I'm just getting nice prices everywhere!) They were like 25 dollars. So my idea is that I will excercise EVERYDAY and If I miss a day I have to put a dollar in a jar (to buy new running clothes? yes.) Today is the first in three days that I have to put a dollar in a jar :( SAD FACE. But it's okay. I went swimming, sorta. I'll still put a dollar in a jar. But a lot of people must be thinking well why not just put a dollar in every day? And to that I say, I do not know where all of my money goes. So I do NOT always have money, becaus I burn through it so quickly. I really need to learn how to save it. But I just cannot.
- Cake Occasions! It's really such a great budding cake and delicious snack foods place in Duluth! They're cakes ARE SO GOOD!. Best Redvelvet cake. EVER. everyone else's tastes so dry and just untasty compared to theirs. Since I can't really give a good explanation, because I suck at that CHECK THEM OUT! LIKE THEM! ORDER YOUR CAKES FROM THEM! TELL YOUR FRIENDS! ACTUAL WEBSITE
- Last saturday I saw my dad's band play at a show in Carlton. It was pretty cool. This is the first Time I saw his band play that wasn't a band practice in our basement... and needless to say they pretty much rock when they're not playing in our basement. (I say that with love) and they completely OWN their cover of Seven Nation Army (A pretty sick song anyways.)
- So the next few bulletins will be about being at this show and what happened and such, They might even just be a sentence. This one is about being sixteen, in a bar. Which is illegal, but when you're the daughter of lead Guitarist Troy Le Kander you get some sweet priveledges, ( just kidding, but I'm serious) And being the hottest thing Carlton has ever seen (have you ever been there? Check it out. I promise no life impacting images. ) It's small,. very small town america. There's not much there that's younger than midlife. So yeah, I was pretty hot. And Yeah I was making the bartender laugh (Actually I was too shy to really say anything at all, he was laughing at the fact taht I kept ordering Kiddie Cocktails...) And so he didn't charge me for any of my three kiddie cocktails! I'm so awesome. (Really, I can't say that. Because being in a bar at sixteen is NOT cool at All. except for the fact that I was there for my dad.)
- So I was hot, So waht? Creepy as fuck Five'o'clock shadow man noticed. And man was he fucking creepy as fuck. He lurked behind me. For. A. Long.Time. Then when a cool song came on he leaned in and all hot and NASTY in my ear asked, "Do you wanna dance?" What Did I say? "NO" then I looked down at my shoes, (the five inch heels. FUck yeah)."Do you want me to break an ankle? I didn't come here to dance." I kid you not. That's what I said. He seemed awkward and so he went to a table near by and continued to watch me for the rest of the night. I Wonder what he would have done if he knew I was only sixteen... Gross.
- I also Got a free bag of popcorn (not like gas station popcorn. like a legitimate bag of mixed varieties of popcorn) He said I could have it if I ate the whole bag. I did. Effortlessly.
- There was this lady dancing. She was hiking up her skirt. She must have been doing before party drinks while she was getting ready because she forgot to put underwear on.... Yeah. I guess back in teh seventies or whenever she was young they didn't tell girls that it's important to keep your bush well groomed. Because FUCKING GROSS. *puke*
- "OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO LOCK YOU IN THE VAN NEXT TIME!" Said the lady to her drunk husband. Who was so drunk he thought the water in his wine glass was actually wine. Sorry mon amie.
- So When this one lady found out that I was sixteen her mind was completely blown. So blown that she screamed it in the bar. Which then commenced a sequence of mind blowings of other people of all genders until everyone in the bar was mind blown. Yes.
Morgan Le Kander: Blowing Minds since '94. Bitches.
My wrists hurt.
Time for bed,.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Reminders.
Note's to self do not work.
So this is a reminder blog to myself,
and I guess to everyone else so they know what I've been thinking about.
So this is a reminder blog to myself,
and I guess to everyone else so they know what I've been thinking about.
- Juicy couture shoes (10 Fricken dollars. God I'm great)
- The Gospel according to Coco (Best book ever, for any woman, Or man I guess if you're into that sort of thing. It's just interesting over all.)
- I took a cold shower; because I wanted to.
- Personal Shopping and the wonders of it.
- My great closet (or soon to be)
- Modeling. Modeling. Modeling.
- Running. Excercising. Becoming as fit as can be.
- Cake Occasions!
That's it.
I hope I get to all of it.
Friday, July 15, 2011
The Time is 11:37
Well here it goes.
Emotion: dejected, un-relate-able; Nothing.
I feel so absolutely ______. I can't even think of a word for it. If it helps, I don't even feel like blogging really.
Which is big, because I Love blogging.
I went to the Mall Of America today. I purchased brown (I'm really wondering about the color now that I've brought them home) courderoy shorts, a big loose t-shirt with a bicycle on it, a book about Coco Chanel ( <3 ) and
FIVE INCH HIGH FUCKIN' HEELS.
God these shoes are fricken AMAZING.
There's only one problem.
WHEN THE EFF DO I WEAR THESE BITCHES?
So I'm going to make it a goal of mine to wear them as much as possible.
There are a few reasons for this besides wanting to get my moneys worth of these beautiful shoes, which actually didnt' cost a lot, At all.
So there is a big dispute over whether or not wearing high heels is good or bad for you.
I say good.
and here's some backing information.
Wearing high-heeled sheos can improve your health and your sex life, according to Italian urologist, Dr. Maria Cerutto. In her study of 66 women who regularly wore shoes with two-inch heels, she found that balancing on heels helped tone and strengthen women's pelvic muscles, which can increase sexual satisfaction and provide support to the bladder, bowels, and uterus.Typically, the pelvic muscles become weaker with age and after childbirth. Though many women try to tone the muscles through exercise, Dr. Cerutto claims that her findings could let women cut out the Keigels and put on some new strappy heels instead.
Don't take this to be the Absolute truth, because let's be honest. Who's worn six inch stillettos and didn't complain of sore feet? When I meet her I'll throw out all of my flat bottoms and buy heels in 5 inch and higher. But no, this doctor is just saying that a modest heal (like a few inches) could actually help your health. Which I think is cool, but it doesn't help that I only have like three inch and higher... haha. Well I'll just be in better shape than everyone else.
Oh there was so much that I wanted to blog about. I had so many note-to-self ideas, But they're gone now.
A note-to-self is like a thought that's already been given away.
Emotion: dejected, un-relate-able; Nothing.
I feel so absolutely ______. I can't even think of a word for it. If it helps, I don't even feel like blogging really.
Which is big, because I Love blogging.
I went to the Mall Of America today. I purchased brown (I'm really wondering about the color now that I've brought them home) courderoy shorts, a big loose t-shirt with a bicycle on it, a book about Coco Chanel ( <3 ) and
FIVE INCH HIGH FUCKIN' HEELS.
God these shoes are fricken AMAZING.
There's only one problem.
WHEN THE EFF DO I WEAR THESE BITCHES?
So I'm going to make it a goal of mine to wear them as much as possible.
There are a few reasons for this besides wanting to get my moneys worth of these beautiful shoes, which actually didnt' cost a lot, At all.
So there is a big dispute over whether or not wearing high heels is good or bad for you.
I say good.
and here's some backing information.
Wearing high-heeled sheos can improve your health and your sex life, according to Italian urologist, Dr. Maria Cerutto. In her study of 66 women who regularly wore shoes with two-inch heels, she found that balancing on heels helped tone and strengthen women's pelvic muscles, which can increase sexual satisfaction and provide support to the bladder, bowels, and uterus.Typically, the pelvic muscles become weaker with age and after childbirth. Though many women try to tone the muscles through exercise, Dr. Cerutto claims that her findings could let women cut out the Keigels and put on some new strappy heels instead.
Don't take this to be the Absolute truth, because let's be honest. Who's worn six inch stillettos and didn't complain of sore feet? When I meet her I'll throw out all of my flat bottoms and buy heels in 5 inch and higher. But no, this doctor is just saying that a modest heal (like a few inches) could actually help your health. Which I think is cool, but it doesn't help that I only have like three inch and higher... haha. Well I'll just be in better shape than everyone else.
Oh there was so much that I wanted to blog about. I had so many note-to-self ideas, But they're gone now.
A note-to-self is like a thought that's already been given away.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
In a way, everyone is trapped in their own Bell Jar.
So this morning I had finished reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (Who is BY FAR my favorite author. EVER. and that's saying a lot.)
But this book was truly monumental for me.
I can't even explain the impact that I felt one I read that last sentence.
I have wanted to read this book for like the last three years of my LIFE.
Seriously.
I read a small excerpt from it awhile ago and fell in love.
"But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn't do it.
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb,
but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at."
This little quote got me through some tough times man. And now that I know completely the context it was truly in. It just means so much more now.
That book was such an epic journey.
It was written so absolutely BRILLIANTLY.
I am truly just smitten to bits over this book.
It's just AH.
Everything about it is perfect.
Plath's use of metaphor of the bell jar is genius. Absolutely fucking genius.
I can't think of anything else to really blog about.
Well nothing that won't make me a tad bit upset and turn into a large rant about work.
Which tonight I'm really not in the mood to rant about.
But this book was truly monumental for me.
I can't even explain the impact that I felt one I read that last sentence.
I have wanted to read this book for like the last three years of my LIFE.
Seriously.
I read a small excerpt from it awhile ago and fell in love.
"But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn't do it.
It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn't in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb,
but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get at."
This little quote got me through some tough times man. And now that I know completely the context it was truly in. It just means so much more now.
That book was such an epic journey.
It was written so absolutely BRILLIANTLY.
I am truly just smitten to bits over this book.
It's just AH.
Everything about it is perfect.
Plath's use of metaphor of the bell jar is genius. Absolutely fucking genius.
I can't think of anything else to really blog about.
Well nothing that won't make me a tad bit upset and turn into a large rant about work.
Which tonight I'm really not in the mood to rant about.
How to drive in the Philippines.
So I found Filipino Drivers Survival Guide.
And I think I have FINALLY figured out where I have gotten my driving skills from...
On Turn signals
If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go into your lane. In fact, press the accelerator and start driving right next to him/her. The fellow driver will probably greet you and you already know what to do.
On Traffic Lights
These amusing artifacts hang from intersections for no apparent reason. Sometimes you will see drivers stop to see the colors change on these lights (a fascinating experience). Government officials (specifically police) believe that each color stands for an instruction for drivers to follow.
From pure observation I have determined the following instructions for each color: Yellow light: accelerate your car as much as possible.
Red light: this light gives permission to the next five to six cars to go through.
Green: reduce speed and wait for the five to six cars passing through their respective red lights.
Little-known-fact: Time to start honking your horn, as soon as the light turns green: 1.5 seconds.
On Changing Lanes
Changing lanes has been elevated to an art form in the Philippines. First of all, no matter what you do, never turn on your turn signal or otherwise you'll stimulate the reaction described above. Second, swerve your car uncontrollably to the lane you want to change, preferably if you end up within inches of a car in that lane. At this point a greeting from the other driver may be in order. To perfect your change of lanes, reduce the speed of your car dramatically in a matter of seconds and you will see an action packed reaction from the car behind you.
Traffic Jams are teeming with fun filled activities such as:
Honking your horn rhythmically.
Put on make-up (usually female drivers only)
Nose-pickers sightseeing. (not to be confused with people who scratch their brains through their nose)
Reduce speed to watch whatever is causing the traffic jam. Add excitement by trying to see if you know the parties involved. (note: every Filipino driver is obliged to do this)
Lose weight by sweating like a pig as a result of a lack of air conditioning.
Greet other drivers.
Practice lane changing.
Play the game: Let's see how close I can get to you before rear-ending you.
On Pedestrians
These individuals are an annoyance to the Filipino driver. If you see pedestrians on your way, accelerate your car to let them know who's the boss. If you are at an intersection, let the pedestrians know you want to proceed by accelerating your car and honking at the last possible moment.
On Social Situations
Bumping into a friend while driving (not to be taken literally) is a joyful occasion. Drivers should reduce speed and stop their cars in the middle of the street and chit chat. What about other drivers? Well, they can wait.
On Highway Driving
Bottleneck Formation: To accomplish this type of driving, cars must block all lanes by driving at the same speed and side by side (to avoid other cars to pass). It is important to drive at a speed at least 20 mph below the speed limit.
The Three-Lane-Change : This movement requires a lot of precision and creativity. It should be done around the highest number of cars possible and in a matter of seconds to create what others may refer to as widespread panic.
After Reading this I can say taht I would Survive nicely in the Philippines on teh streats in a car, and that
Americans realyl shoudl start using this style of driving. we would get SO much more done.
My grandmothers hands.
I look down at the tops of my wrists and think,
"My, how frail I must be. How small and skinny."
And then I turn them over, to a side I know all too well.
I see that my wrists have gained girth, and had become chubby.
My eyes gazed up to my palms.
They are chubby and round.
Hesitantly I began to turn my palms around,
expecting to see
plump, dimpled hands.
Like babies.
But I don't.
I see bony, wrinkled brown hands.
Hands that have seen many years.
And then I think.
"I'm only sixteen."
"My, how frail I must be. How small and skinny."
And then I turn them over, to a side I know all too well.
I see that my wrists have gained girth, and had become chubby.
My eyes gazed up to my palms.
They are chubby and round.
Hesitantly I began to turn my palms around,
expecting to see
plump, dimpled hands.
Like babies.
But I don't.
I see bony, wrinkled brown hands.
Hands that have seen many years.
And then I think.
"I'm only sixteen."
Monday, July 11, 2011
Oh internet, You never fail to amuse.
So I knew I was using the word lucrative wrong. So I googled the correct definition and to my (un)surprise I was using it incorrectly.
But I didn't want to use the world trivial (Which i ended up using in the end) So I googled synonyms for
trivial.
WHat do I find?
Trivial is synonymous for trivial.
But I didn't want to use the world trivial (Which i ended up using in the end) So I googled synonyms for
trivial.
WHat do I find?
Trivial is synonymous for trivial.
Now For some excerpting.
Here's and Excerpt from "Waiting for A Push" Because idk, I feel like I could use some
appreciation. It's hard being a writer. I now see why they're all poor.
"My name is Regis. What's a beautiful girl like yourself doing later tonight?" He played coy, but he was anything but.
"My name is Rissa, and tonight I'm doing anything but you."
"A woman after my own heart." He laughed, it was the easiest way for him to accept rejection.
She giggled, "And what's your name tall, dark, and nerdy?"
My face flushed, "Marco."
"Well it's nice to meet you Marco. I wish I could say the same for Regis." She winked. Her voice lilted and careened so quickly through each syllable.
"So how long have you been interested in 30 Days?" I asked feeling the need to make conversation with her.
"Actually, I found out about it tonight. Maybe ten minutes before it started." Her words became so small and there was a slight hint of embarrassment. Or I was reading incorrectly into her emotions.
"Really? This is such an amazing organization. I love everything that they've done for these people." I was caught up in her eyes for a moment. It was a strange feeling. Regis and I never made eye contact, we were too busy keeping our hands busy as we discussed trivial topics such as which women we would deem a 10, video games, and on the rare occasion politics. We never discussed religion; neither of us believed in anything but ourselves.
Her smile brought me back from my train of thoughts.
"Maybe I should have just found you instead of making a noisy introduction." She laughed. And even though I realized that her attempt at a possible flirtatious comment didn't make sense realistically, I found myself laughing along with her.
"If you two will please excuse me, I see a beautiful woman at the beverage station who is dying to know what one night with Regis would be like." With a smile full of predetermined success he walked away towards the woman who could have possibly been old enough to be atleast his aunt. Or something.
"I was just out of collage, I was broke, it’s the oldest story in the world.
Boy meets Girl, Boy wants Girl to do dominatrix film, Girl says naked, Boy says yeah, Girl says forget it. Boy says okay, then just wear this rubber dress and beat the old guy with a scrub brush, Girl says how hard." - Karen Walker.
appreciation. It's hard being a writer. I now see why they're all poor.
"My name is Regis. What's a beautiful girl like yourself doing later tonight?" He played coy, but he was anything but.
"My name is Rissa, and tonight I'm doing anything but you."
"A woman after my own heart." He laughed, it was the easiest way for him to accept rejection.
She giggled, "And what's your name tall, dark, and nerdy?"
My face flushed, "Marco."
"Well it's nice to meet you Marco. I wish I could say the same for Regis." She winked. Her voice lilted and careened so quickly through each syllable.
"So how long have you been interested in 30 Days?" I asked feeling the need to make conversation with her.
"Actually, I found out about it tonight. Maybe ten minutes before it started." Her words became so small and there was a slight hint of embarrassment. Or I was reading incorrectly into her emotions.
"Really? This is such an amazing organization. I love everything that they've done for these people." I was caught up in her eyes for a moment. It was a strange feeling. Regis and I never made eye contact, we were too busy keeping our hands busy as we discussed trivial topics such as which women we would deem a 10, video games, and on the rare occasion politics. We never discussed religion; neither of us believed in anything but ourselves.
Her smile brought me back from my train of thoughts.
"Maybe I should have just found you instead of making a noisy introduction." She laughed. And even though I realized that her attempt at a possible flirtatious comment didn't make sense realistically, I found myself laughing along with her.
"If you two will please excuse me, I see a beautiful woman at the beverage station who is dying to know what one night with Regis would be like." With a smile full of predetermined success he walked away towards the woman who could have possibly been old enough to be atleast his aunt. Or something.
"I was just out of collage, I was broke, it’s the oldest story in the world.
Boy meets Girl, Boy wants Girl to do dominatrix film, Girl says naked, Boy says yeah, Girl says forget it. Boy says okay, then just wear this rubber dress and beat the old guy with a scrub brush, Girl says how hard." - Karen Walker.
JACK: Uh, hello! I could totally play straight!
KAREN: Oh, honey, no one in the world would believe you’re straight. You’re as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night. You fell out of the gay tree hitting every gay branch on the way down. And you landed on a gay guy. And you did him.
Strawberry Fields Forever.
To be honest, I don't like the Beatles that much. If at all. I'm sorry if I've offended.
So I want a lap top for two reasons.
1.) I can just whip that bad boy out and type and type and type and MAYBE get somewhere with my current idea. ( I refuse to call it a book, nor a story, or anything else besides an idea.Becasue that's all it is.)
AND
2.) (This one is the MOST important of the two.) So I can blog and play sims at the same time. One is running on one coputer and my sims can be safe in my lap. Actually no. The sims can stay on the big computer, just in case I need to write something.
I was walking past the living room and my brother and father were watching one of those extreme weight loss shows, (Which I kinda want to go on) and I heard the obese man say "I lied to my trainer. I got caught in my lie. I wasn't at the gym. I was at a fast food restaraunt. I got two double cheeseburgers, a large frie, a shake and a pop. I didn't think my trainer would go to the gym to look for me." I thought it was so funny. Even though it's really sad. It was just idk the word for it, but I giggled. Poor guy. He just wanted two double cheeseburgers! and fries and a shake and a pop.
I went berry picking today in (Carlton?)
So I want a lap top for two reasons.
1.) I can just whip that bad boy out and type and type and type and MAYBE get somewhere with my current idea. ( I refuse to call it a book, nor a story, or anything else besides an idea.Becasue that's all it is.)
AND
2.) (This one is the MOST important of the two.) So I can blog and play sims at the same time. One is running on one coputer and my sims can be safe in my lap. Actually no. The sims can stay on the big computer, just in case I need to write something.
I was walking past the living room and my brother and father were watching one of those extreme weight loss shows, (Which I kinda want to go on) and I heard the obese man say "I lied to my trainer. I got caught in my lie. I wasn't at the gym. I was at a fast food restaraunt. I got two double cheeseburgers, a large frie, a shake and a pop. I didn't think my trainer would go to the gym to look for me." I thought it was so funny. Even though it's really sad. It was just idk the word for it, but I giggled. Poor guy. He just wanted two double cheeseburgers! and fries and a shake and a pop.
I went berry picking today in (Carlton?)
It was a lot of fun! I had never been berry picking before! I ate and ate and ate!
I don't think you were supposed to eat though. And the kid who showed us to our "row" of strawberries came into my place of work a few nights ago and just googley eyed me up the whole time him and his family ate there. And since it's soooooo (Can you hear the sarcasm?) hard to forget a blonde filipino I'm fairly sure he recognized me when we were there today. So when he gave us the tutorial on how to properly pick a strawberry guess who he gave the perfect strawberry to? Me. That's right. I got it. It tasted horrible.
I could have picked a better one.
But it was a sweet gesture nonetheless. And I was talking with my auntie and we decided that at sunset (the time we went) strawberry picking would be the cutest fricken date EVER.
Just sayin'.
So here are a few things that I thought would be REALLY cool to blog about (I thought of these ideas at like three am... turns out they aren't so cool any more...)
You know when you have a best friend when they can tell you've gotten tanner by commenting on how WHITE your cleavage is. Thanks Syd.
Doritos, I've come to the conclusion, make you boobs smaller. How? Because the more you eat the bigger yoru butt gets, thus in comparison making your boobs atleast appear smaller.
Yet, I can't help but keep eating them...
HOW COME IN BOOKS THE DOUCHE BAGS ARE YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER BUT IN REAL LIFE YOU F*CKING HATE THEM?!
Oh wait I know, Because in a story you get to see their characters progression from being an ass to being a real person and in real life you're the person the douche bag is always antagonized.
HOLY SHIT>
THIS FUCKIGN MADE MY NIGHT
Saturday, July 9, 2011
SERIOUSLY.
Earlier this evening, I was wearing a pink chinese dress (I forget what they're called) Black knee high suede boots, and had a fricken katana. I took pictures. I swear I did. What I did NOT take into mind was that my phone's picture holding ability was full.
Fricken full. WTF. I HATE YOU SMART PHONE. HATE YOU.
So no. I do not have proof of this sexy outfit.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to go play sims now because I'm so sad.
Don't worry, by monday night I should have a recaptured image of this.
Until then.
Enjoy this.
Fricken full. WTF. I HATE YOU SMART PHONE. HATE YOU.
So no. I do not have proof of this sexy outfit.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to go play sims now because I'm so sad.
Don't worry, by monday night I should have a recaptured image of this.
Until then.
Enjoy this.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Waking up next to... a blonde filipino
Today I realized that I want a queen sized bed. And that I want someone to sleep with me EVERY NIGHT.
It doesn't have to be a sexual sleep over, just having someone there. Who doesn't mind the occasional cuddle, because I cuddle in my sleep. I also move a lot in my sleep. Like A lot a lot.
I roll around and cuddle things. Except for the one on the end to the right I sleep like this...
Usually I sleep like the middle one, with or without a body/pillow.
But it's just nice to wake up next to someone. Like "Hey, good morning!"
I woke up next to Sydnee last night. SHE HAS A QUEEN SIZE BED! <3 <3
I love big beds. They are AMAZING.
But yeah, I just like waking up next to someone.
I know that that sounds creepy,. But I don't mean for it to. I just don't like to be lonely.
I like being around people. I love being around people where I don't feel the need to say things constantly, I like to not feel like the silence is awkward. I like things to just flow.
Which is why I like to wake up next to someone, It creates a bond that can't be created any other way.
You know?
Waking up next to someone is the ultimate bond.
You're opening yourself up to let them see your drool, your rumble hair, the things you say in your sleep,
the things you do in your sleep, the way you sleep.
And most importantly.
The moment you wake up.
To me those few seconds that happen when you wake up are so precious. It is serenity in it's most pure form. It's the closest thing anyone can get to becoming a child again. It's waking up. It's the slow realization every morning that you made it through another night to make it through another day.
It's wonderful. It's beautiful.
It's magical.
Who wants to sleep in my bed tonight?
Here are some nice couple sleeping positions.
Trust me. I've slept in all of this positions. Except the very last one on the right....
It doesn't have to be a sexual sleep over, just having someone there. Who doesn't mind the occasional cuddle, because I cuddle in my sleep. I also move a lot in my sleep. Like A lot a lot.
I roll around and cuddle things. Except for the one on the end to the right I sleep like this...
Usually I sleep like the middle one, with or without a body/pillow.
But it's just nice to wake up next to someone. Like "Hey, good morning!"
I woke up next to Sydnee last night. SHE HAS A QUEEN SIZE BED! <3 <3
I love big beds. They are AMAZING.
But yeah, I just like waking up next to someone.
I know that that sounds creepy,. But I don't mean for it to. I just don't like to be lonely.
I like being around people. I love being around people where I don't feel the need to say things constantly, I like to not feel like the silence is awkward. I like things to just flow.
Which is why I like to wake up next to someone, It creates a bond that can't be created any other way.
You know?
Waking up next to someone is the ultimate bond.
You're opening yourself up to let them see your drool, your rumble hair, the things you say in your sleep,
the things you do in your sleep, the way you sleep.
And most importantly.
The moment you wake up.
To me those few seconds that happen when you wake up are so precious. It is serenity in it's most pure form. It's the closest thing anyone can get to becoming a child again. It's waking up. It's the slow realization every morning that you made it through another night to make it through another day.
It's wonderful. It's beautiful.
It's magical.
Who wants to sleep in my bed tonight?
Here are some nice couple sleeping positions.
Trust me. I've slept in all of this positions. Except the very last one on the right....
I still say your name when I'm talkin' in my sleep.
I've got a firm hold on the story I'm writing. Like A really firm hold. I like it. Which isn't uncommon for stories that I feel like are good. But I'm trying to not get too attached, because once I get attached to an idea I over think it and get too caught up in it. To the point where all I can sleep, eat, drink, breathe my book. And that's a good bad thing. Good because I get somewhere. Bad because then I get bored with the plot because I've spent so much time with it. I need break time from things like that sometimes.
But since I've been on my roughly two year writing hiatus I'm ready to dive in. I'm ready to actually write something instead of just journaling my life away. Time for some fiction.
Here's an excerpt of what I've written. It's a non serious part but it's very vital to introducing the character Regis. Who so far is my favorite person. He's one of those people who in real life you would just think is a complete douch bag, but in stories you love that character.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I checked it before answering. I wasn't surprised to see that Regis was calling me. He was the only one who ever really called.
"Hey." I answered while walking into the kitchen to get a glass of Kool-Aid.
"'Sup Marco? What are you doing? We still on for that save Africa shit tonight?" It was strange how he could ask the same thing twice, say offensive things about your interests and yet everyone loved him. I thought he was annoying, but he was still my friend.
"Getting juice from the fridge. Nah man, Big Dick laid down the whip. He said mom has big news. Why do you care though? You don't even like those meetings." I poured my sugary drink and looked in teh cabinets for a before dinner snack. With my metabolism I could eat like a God for atleast another 12 years.
"Shit, I only go to these for two reasons. One, your my main man, I gotta back you up. And two: Hot Chicks. They will do anything the moment you start talking about saving the world. And if I bring my sisters new puppy and made up some shit about how I rescued it, Shit I'd be like King Midas but instead of gold, everything I would touch would turn into hot chick." There were a few things that you could always bet money on with Regis. His use of the word "shit" and the way he spoke about women along with the way he went through them.
"Oh, and get me a glass." He added.
"What?"
"I already talked to Liza, she said I could come over for dinner. I'm in your room bro'. And I'm thirsty." It bothered me when he called my mom Liza when it was Elizabeth. And the way he was always sneaking into my room. Nothing was ever less than extraordinary when it came to him. Regis had to make a show of everything.
So yeah., That's that.
It was really funny when I was writing it last night.
But since I've been on my roughly two year writing hiatus I'm ready to dive in. I'm ready to actually write something instead of just journaling my life away. Time for some fiction.
Here's an excerpt of what I've written. It's a non serious part but it's very vital to introducing the character Regis. Who so far is my favorite person. He's one of those people who in real life you would just think is a complete douch bag, but in stories you love that character.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I checked it before answering. I wasn't surprised to see that Regis was calling me. He was the only one who ever really called.
"Hey." I answered while walking into the kitchen to get a glass of Kool-Aid.
"'Sup Marco? What are you doing? We still on for that save Africa shit tonight?" It was strange how he could ask the same thing twice, say offensive things about your interests and yet everyone loved him. I thought he was annoying, but he was still my friend.
"Getting juice from the fridge. Nah man, Big Dick laid down the whip. He said mom has big news. Why do you care though? You don't even like those meetings." I poured my sugary drink and looked in teh cabinets for a before dinner snack. With my metabolism I could eat like a God for atleast another 12 years.
"Shit, I only go to these for two reasons. One, your my main man, I gotta back you up. And two: Hot Chicks. They will do anything the moment you start talking about saving the world. And if I bring my sisters new puppy and made up some shit about how I rescued it, Shit I'd be like King Midas but instead of gold, everything I would touch would turn into hot chick." There were a few things that you could always bet money on with Regis. His use of the word "shit" and the way he spoke about women along with the way he went through them.
"Oh, and get me a glass." He added.
"What?"
"I already talked to Liza, she said I could come over for dinner. I'm in your room bro'. And I'm thirsty." It bothered me when he called my mom Liza when it was Elizabeth. And the way he was always sneaking into my room. Nothing was ever less than extraordinary when it came to him. Regis had to make a show of everything.
So yeah., That's that.
It was really funny when I was writing it last night.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
GET A TUMBLR SAY WHAT!?!?!?!?
thsi is my quick and dirty post about how sydnee is tryign to get me to get a tumblr.
But NO,
I will not.
WHY!?
Because see I'm against tumblr, it's like dirty blogging. It's not real.
It's like when you get a lap dance from that girl who sits in the back of the class because it's cheaper
than going and getting a real stripper. It sucks and isn't as great of an experience as it would be if you got the real thing.
AND after tumblr-ing then next I won't be reading REAL books.
I'll be using a kindle or a nook.
And that's like a drug addict doing pixie sticks when he can't find cocaine or soemthing. It looks kinda the same BUT I"TS DEFINITELY NOT>
I won't do it.
Besides where else am I going to lift heavy things?
No where.
I don't do physical labor.
That's why i'm cute, so other people can do it for me.
JUST KIDDING.
I don't mind physical labor. I'm just really lazy
except when it comes to books.
I'll fucking carry forty of those bitches just to raed them.
ANd I' would be happy because I love reading
And books
and things.
So no Sydnee,
I will not get a tumblr.
Because then that means I'll never get A REAL stripper, or real cocaine, or muscles.
But NO,
I will not.
WHY!?
Because see I'm against tumblr, it's like dirty blogging. It's not real.
It's like when you get a lap dance from that girl who sits in the back of the class because it's cheaper
than going and getting a real stripper. It sucks and isn't as great of an experience as it would be if you got the real thing.
AND after tumblr-ing then next I won't be reading REAL books.
I'll be using a kindle or a nook.
And that's like a drug addict doing pixie sticks when he can't find cocaine or soemthing. It looks kinda the same BUT I"TS DEFINITELY NOT>
I won't do it.
Besides where else am I going to lift heavy things?
No where.
I don't do physical labor.
That's why i'm cute, so other people can do it for me.
JUST KIDDING.
I don't mind physical labor. I'm just really lazy
except when it comes to books.
I'll fucking carry forty of those bitches just to raed them.
ANd I' would be happy because I love reading
And books
and things.
So no Sydnee,
I will not get a tumblr.
Because then that means I'll never get A REAL stripper, or real cocaine, or muscles.
I miss your soft lips. I miss you're white sheets.
I have a LOT to say today.
Like damn gurrlll whatchu' been doin'?
And to that I answer, A Lot sir. I have been up to a lot.
Which is weird and exciting. But I can't help it.
I have come home every night this week at the VERY EARLIEST ten thirty, or else I didn't come home at all. That's how Busy I've been. Tonight I will not be going home. I'm at my Best Friend Sydnee's house. I'll just refer to her at BFS. Haha, just kidding. That's kind of lame. So She'll just stay Best Friend Sydnee.
Anyway!
So today. I went for a GREAT LONG BIKE RIDE. It started from west duluth and went ALLL the way to park point and kinda all the way back.
On this bike ride, I passed by Pizza Luce and I saw this man who had a TON of luggage and this woman who had realllyyyyy nice summer high heals. They were super cute. And this is the fragment of their conversation.
Woman: You just met me on the plane and you're going trying to tell me that I'm the love of your life?
Man: Yes, let me explain...
Me inside my head: HOLY SHIT. OHMYFUCKING GOD CUTE. TELL HER! MAKE HER BELIEVE! WHERE'S THE CAMERA? THIS HAS TO BE A MOVIE BY A FILM STUDENT.
But there wasn't any cameras around and I needed to keep going or else I was going to hit a woman. I'm just as bad of a bike rider as I am driver. For all of you who have driven in the car with me I'd like you all to know that I'm just as lucky (KINDA) as I am on a bike as I am in a car. Which is very lucky.
(when I have enough aspiration points on the sims I'm going to change one personality trait to lucky, because I seriously need to . Because I really am.)
And then as I got closer to west Duluth I saw a car pull up to a stop sign, I was going down hill and so I was speedin' pretty fast so I was tryign to slow down. And I have a schwin caliente which looks kind of like...
But older and the handle bars are upside down because of teh asian guy I bought Hot Mama from. (name of bike) So basically my hands are leaned up against the brakes which today I realized is NOT a good thing, especially when you want to slow down gradually and you're going downhill at teh same time.
Needless to say I COMPLETELY FRONT FLIPPED MY BIKE OVER. No head injuries. THank god. Considering I don't wear a helmet. I really should. But my legs are COVERED in bruises and SORE.
And I scraped my arm. (insert picture below) (sORRY FOR THE crappy resizing. I didn't want ot download the image so i just copied it out of my email)
Cleaning it was a bitch. hot mama is a bitch. that slut flipped over and hurt me. it's okay that whore got messed up too. Now I need to find someone who has a tool that can fix her and make her nice and tight again ;) if you know what I mean. And I mean ridable for long bike rides and such. Nothing dirty. You perverts.
(SYDNEE THIS IS MY SHOUT OUT TO YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR DOG OUT WITH YOU. I APPOLOGIZE. SO HERE'S MY SHOUT OUT. YOU ARE NOW IMORTALIZED IN THE DIGITAL WORLD. LIKE DIGIMON WHICH ARE COOLER THAN POKEMON BECAUSE THEY SPEAK ENGLISH AND GET CUTE AGAIN)
There was more that I wanted to blog about but Ican't think of what it is.
Hm. Damn you jbeebs for making me say hm and lol.
I've been swearing a lot lately. like a lot a lot.
especially fuck. I do not use that word. Probably another thing that jbeebs has got me doing.
I know, jbeebs doesn't swear. But for some reason I am.
FUCK.
FUCK.
I love the show bones. I just realized it.
Today I watached that show, and it was REALLY SAD becasue Zac, this cute nerdy character messed up and was helping a cult of murder and it was sad.
T-T SAD.
You tried to feel the beat.
Like damn gurrlll whatchu' been doin'?
And to that I answer, A Lot sir. I have been up to a lot.
Which is weird and exciting. But I can't help it.
I have come home every night this week at the VERY EARLIEST ten thirty, or else I didn't come home at all. That's how Busy I've been. Tonight I will not be going home. I'm at my Best Friend Sydnee's house. I'll just refer to her at BFS. Haha, just kidding. That's kind of lame. So She'll just stay Best Friend Sydnee.
Anyway!
So today. I went for a GREAT LONG BIKE RIDE. It started from west duluth and went ALLL the way to park point and kinda all the way back.
On this bike ride, I passed by Pizza Luce and I saw this man who had a TON of luggage and this woman who had realllyyyyy nice summer high heals. They were super cute. And this is the fragment of their conversation.
Woman: You just met me on the plane and you're going trying to tell me that I'm the love of your life?
Man: Yes, let me explain...
Me inside my head: HOLY SHIT. OHMYFUCKING GOD CUTE. TELL HER! MAKE HER BELIEVE! WHERE'S THE CAMERA? THIS HAS TO BE A MOVIE BY A FILM STUDENT.
But there wasn't any cameras around and I needed to keep going or else I was going to hit a woman. I'm just as bad of a bike rider as I am driver. For all of you who have driven in the car with me I'd like you all to know that I'm just as lucky (KINDA) as I am on a bike as I am in a car. Which is very lucky.
(when I have enough aspiration points on the sims I'm going to change one personality trait to lucky, because I seriously need to . Because I really am.)
And then as I got closer to west Duluth I saw a car pull up to a stop sign, I was going down hill and so I was speedin' pretty fast so I was tryign to slow down. And I have a schwin caliente which looks kind of like...
But older and the handle bars are upside down because of teh asian guy I bought Hot Mama from. (name of bike) So basically my hands are leaned up against the brakes which today I realized is NOT a good thing, especially when you want to slow down gradually and you're going downhill at teh same time.
Needless to say I COMPLETELY FRONT FLIPPED MY BIKE OVER. No head injuries. THank god. Considering I don't wear a helmet. I really should. But my legs are COVERED in bruises and SORE.
And I scraped my arm. (insert picture below) (sORRY FOR THE crappy resizing. I didn't want ot download the image so i just copied it out of my email)
Cleaning it was a bitch. hot mama is a bitch. that slut flipped over and hurt me. it's okay that whore got messed up too. Now I need to find someone who has a tool that can fix her and make her nice and tight again ;) if you know what I mean. And I mean ridable for long bike rides and such. Nothing dirty. You perverts.
(SYDNEE THIS IS MY SHOUT OUT TO YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR DOG OUT WITH YOU. I APPOLOGIZE. SO HERE'S MY SHOUT OUT. YOU ARE NOW IMORTALIZED IN THE DIGITAL WORLD. LIKE DIGIMON WHICH ARE COOLER THAN POKEMON BECAUSE THEY SPEAK ENGLISH AND GET CUTE AGAIN)
There was more that I wanted to blog about but Ican't think of what it is.
Hm. Damn you jbeebs for making me say hm and lol.
I've been swearing a lot lately. like a lot a lot.
especially fuck. I do not use that word. Probably another thing that jbeebs has got me doing.
I know, jbeebs doesn't swear. But for some reason I am.
FUCK.
FUCK.
I love the show bones. I just realized it.
Today I watached that show, and it was REALLY SAD becasue Zac, this cute nerdy character messed up and was helping a cult of murder and it was sad.
T-T SAD.
You tried to feel the beat.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
One last short story then it's time for bed.
Once there was a crooked tree. All of the other perfect trees laughed at it and said "Haha You're crooked. I'm not." This made the tree sad. But one day bulldozers came and people marked all of the perfect trees so that Ikea would have something to make their beds out of. The crooked tree wasn't marked because he was crooked. Moral of the story? Buy things from ikea and burn them. No one likes furniture made out of asshole.
I just might be a Tumbl whore.
Actually I'm not considering I just google things and post them here.
Like here are some funny facebook statuses!
____ When your computer asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions you've made.
____ That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain to the village what he was doing to the cow.
____ Holy crap, I just found out time travel is possible!!! You can go to 2004 by just following this link:http://www.myspace.com/.
____ is eating a bowl of generic frosted flakes... THEY'RRRRRRRRRREEE alright, I guess.
____ The early bird may get the worm, but the rest of the birds can still get McGriddles until 10:30am. It’s all about perspective, people.
____ Dear FAMILY: Thanks so much for putting my empty cereal box back in the cabinet. Now I can have disappointment for breakfast.____ That awkward moment when you make eye contact with your cat while he's in the cat box taking a dump.
____ keeps putting my best intelligent, original, experiential material on Facebook... and all the "likes" go to profane, scatological posts. Well, f*%$ that sh!t.
____ doesn't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
____ doesn't always delete people from Facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends.
____ has this amazing fantasy where I take my husband on a long drive in the country. Then I pull over to the side of the road, fling open the door and say "This is your new home! Go on Boy!! You're free now."
____ That awkward moment when Bruno Mars can't catch a grenade for you, because he's having a lazy day.
____ Hey, lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test.....How's your day going?
____ doesn't know about you, but every time I hear the words “Penal Colony” I can't help but snicker like an immature little kid... Just imagine, a colony for peas!
____ got a friend request from a Rob Ot. His profile picture is of a toaster. Nice try Decepticon, better luck next friend request. I'm not falling for it.
____ Recent studies indicate that traditional punishments don’t change behaviour in children. That’s why I’ve kept a 14.4 Kbps dial-up modem for when my kids act out of line. How do you like your Xbox Live now?!!
____ The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.
Yeah, you can expect some of these to pop up as my status throughout the next few days.
Happy posting.
Like here are some funny facebook statuses!
____ When your computer asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions you've made.
____ That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain to the village what he was doing to the cow.
____ Holy crap, I just found out time travel is possible!!! You can go to 2004 by just following this link:http://www.myspace.com/.
____ is eating a bowl of generic frosted flakes... THEY'RRRRRRRRRREEE alright, I guess.
____ The early bird may get the worm, but the rest of the birds can still get McGriddles until 10:30am. It’s all about perspective, people.
____ Dear FAMILY: Thanks so much for putting my empty cereal box back in the cabinet. Now I can have disappointment for breakfast.____ That awkward moment when you make eye contact with your cat while he's in the cat box taking a dump.
____ keeps putting my best intelligent, original, experiential material on Facebook... and all the "likes" go to profane, scatological posts. Well, f*%$ that sh!t.
____ doesn't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
____ doesn't always delete people from Facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends.
____ has this amazing fantasy where I take my husband on a long drive in the country. Then I pull over to the side of the road, fling open the door and say "This is your new home! Go on Boy!! You're free now."
____ That awkward moment when Bruno Mars can't catch a grenade for you, because he's having a lazy day.
____ Hey, lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test.....How's your day going?
____ doesn't know about you, but every time I hear the words “Penal Colony” I can't help but snicker like an immature little kid... Just imagine, a colony for peas!
____ got a friend request from a Rob Ot. His profile picture is of a toaster. Nice try Decepticon, better luck next friend request. I'm not falling for it.
____ Recent studies indicate that traditional punishments don’t change behaviour in children. That’s why I’ve kept a 14.4 Kbps dial-up modem for when my kids act out of line. How do you like your Xbox Live now?!!
____ The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.
Yeah, you can expect some of these to pop up as my status throughout the next few days.
Happy posting.
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