One last short story then it's time for bed.

Once there was a crooked tree. All of the other perfect trees laughed at it and said "Haha You're crooked. I'm not." This made the tree sad. But one day bulldozers came and people marked all of the perfect trees so that Ikea would have something to make their beds out of. The crooked tree wasn't marked because he was crooked. Moral of the story? Buy things from ikea and burn them. No one likes furniture made out of asshole.