So, Octopus.

I've found myself addicted to youtube videos of octopusses.
here are some nice ones.

Netflix: Whitney Cummings Money Shot. (Warning, extremely foul. but worth it)

Poor little octopus :O

There are things coming up in the next few days and I'm thinking about things that happened a few weeks ago,
and then I'm thinking of them together collectively and desperately regretting my decisions altogether.
But I'm a people pleaser. I do things so that other people are happy. And at the same time I do completely realize that If I chose not to please these people, depending on who it is, (but I'm speaking generally about this particular situation) no one would truly care. I'm not a definite part of this party so to speak, I'm just there. On both sides of this fence.
So now it comes down to actually thinking about this entire situation.
Move onward or the other.

Dear Jeff Bowen.

So a young boy today drowned,
he was a friend of my brothers.
And my brother came upstairs and told me of the tragedy that had happened before I saw it on the news.
And there was something about this story that completely shook me internally.
Perhaps it was that he possibly drowned.
Perhaps it was that it was a water related death.
I don't know,
Maybe it was how my brother told the story
and maybe it was the lighting, maybe he had known this kid very well but
there might have been tears in his eyes.
I don't know.
Or maybe it was that this kid had died much too early.
Maybe it was that drowning to me is the most horrible death that a person could ever die.
And Perhaps it's because when I think about this death
my eyes brim with tears because I can only imagine how afraid he must have been.
How much it must have hurt. And then I just cry.
I feel terrible for his family and friends.
I feel terrible for his future.
Because it doesn't get to keep going on.
I feel terrible.
Because
things like this put to question my belief that your entire life has already been predetermined by fate.
All the way down to the way that you die.
And I believe the moment that you die is the moment you were meant to die.
And if fate lets people die so young, what makes me so different?

There are amazing people in the world. I'm not one of them.

I went for a nice jog today.
And I was thinking about things and how I feel about those things.
I wished I could make things to be the way that I wanted.
But I cannot because I am not the only one with wants.

I was on CNN today.
and I found this.
And it made me feel like an even more horrible person.
Because I'm not sure I would have done what she did.

A wonderful woman. And the man who destroyed her physically.

So the things I'm avoiding.

Looking through all of my photos wasn't the greatest idea.

Why?

Well. I wore a lot of long sleeved shirts in middle school. 

So that definitely brought up memories that I haven't completely come to complete terms with.

I don't know if I ever will. Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe I am. 

I saw many images of a friendship that wasn't meant to be. But if you looked at those pictures you'd think that

 those two girls would be best friends for life. Turns out not so. Which makes me really sad.

Relationships that have come and passed. 

How devious I was as a young child. How much I did not know.

And Elie.

Little Elie. 

He was a puppy. My dog daisy had him. 

But he didn't live very long. None of those puppies did. Which was a very sad and very heart breaking time for me.

I realized my emotions one night a long while ago. But they weren't taken care of. 

I still feel like it's my fault.

A (nostalgic) compilation.

So I've stumbled more than once tonight.
The second time happened to be into a wall. I was walking back down stairs from the bathroom and rammed my head right into a wall. Let me tell you. It hurt. A LOT.
The second time was into a file cleverly named "Morgans stuff" on the computer. Here are some nice things i found there!

^^ that's my duck. He died or flew away. I don't quite remember except for all of the tears I spilled for him.It was rather tragic.

I am just  the little photo editor. Aren't I? Not really. 

Seriously though. Ignore the horrible outfit. And Check out my editing skills. I'm sick. c:

^^ pretty bad ass. eh? not really. 

As much as I really want to put more of these un-interesting images up. I cannot bear to go any further than this.

I am now realizing why I haven't gone through these files in a long time.

And I was thinkin' to myself.

I was with a good friend today.

A very good friend. Possibly a best friend of sorts.

And a topic came up that we had discussed before in the past 

and this topic was that I have an overly friendly personality. 

I guess you could call me "flirtatious". I think I'm just really nice. 

But in a world so terribly jaded I suppose my "niceness" could 

be taken as something more than just being nice. 

But I don't know.

Maybe I am flirtatious. 

I don't particularly want to be. 

But the very truth of it is.

I am.

But I'm not this way to everyone.

I am this way with only certain people.

As a whole (like school) I am friendly flirty. 

You know. Casual sexual jokes with everyone. Winks. 

Flirtatious eyebrow lifts. You know, casual school flirty.

And even with certain people. I don't realize it. 

I'm still being casual. 

I'm still just being me.

Saying the things I would say.

I don't know why I do.

But I do.

So yes,

I 

am

flirting.

With.

You.

Alright. The above image is from the beginning of my "AMAZING" gamer  days.

yes this image is the beginning of gaming for me.

I found it burred in my files on this computer.

Wow.

IT's like really old.

Like  seventh grade.