I would like to find Narnia in my closet.

Has anyone ever traveled to the very depths of their closet hoping to find  Narnia?

Yeah?

Just me?

Liars.

All of you totally did.

Well today I wasn't searching.

And I found my mother in my closet.

Weird?

Yes.

Was she coming out?

No.

So now my mother is hiding in my closet?

Why?

Only jesus knows.

Anyway.

Here are some cool bras I would like for my birthday (:

^^ SWEET JESUS. <3

^^ Is that a Bro? 

Feet fetishes.

Are nasty.
Wanna know who had one?
F*cking Cassanova. Yep the guy who's known for spending more time inside of ladies than out.
Ish.

It's fall now.
There's no denying the sixty degree weather. It can't not be fall with this temperature. it's disgusting.
Alright I have a new birthday wish list.
1.) A pikachu.
2.) An electric blanket.
I heard that this winter is supposed to be the coldest one that we've had in the longest time.
So I'm going to need all of the warmth that I can get. because it's going to be disgustingly cold this year.

So in case you're wondering. There's only eighteen more days to get me a birthday present. It's not that long if you think about it.
Ah,
I'm starting to get scared. I know that I talk a lot about being young and shit, but I'm starting to feel really old.
I haven't done anything with my life so far. I haven't finished anything that I've written, I haven't modeled for real. I haven't travelled. I haven't done any of the things that I would have liked to have accomplished by the time I'm eighteen and now it seems that I only have a year. And it feels like life is closing slowly in on me and I'm losing time to accomplish the things that i want to accomplish.
So this year I'm going to buckle down and get a lot of shit done!
FIRETRUCK YEAH.


Anyway. So i've been reading all of these interesting articles online and it amazes me how much civilization has forgotten and remembered throughout the years. Like Concrete. Seriously. People from many many many many years ago fricken perfected the shit, and then when the dark ages came WE FORGOT THE RECIPE AND WERE ALL HEY LET'S JUST BUILD SHIT OUT OF STICKS AND MUD. IT'S NOT AS GREAT AS THOSE AWESOME BUILDINGS THAT THE ROMANS MADE, BUT THEY'RE WITCHES AND PAGANS SO IT'S OKAY. WE DON'T WANT THEIR SHIT ANYWAY.
Idiots.
Seriously.
History amazes me.
It's so just incredible the way people did things, and are doing them now because of history.
And how we are affected by history.

Just incredible I tell you.
Absolutely incredible.

Love is.

Love is eating your favorite food for breakfast lunch and dinner.

And love is ____.
What is love?
Is it really what you feel when you're with that one person?
Then why do you feel it when you're with other people?
Could it really be what you feel

Never mind. Love is. Complicated.
I want it.
But  I don't want the attachment that comes with love. I dont' want the
need to always be held in charge for returning it. I don't want

I don't know what I want.
I feel like everyone wants me to figure out what  I want right now.
But it's not that easy.
I can't just make a cut and dry decision.
Nothing is black and white.
If it were, this might be easy.
If it were, I might be happy.
But it's not that I'm not happy.
No, I'm happy.
I'm just speaking in a relatively different sort of happy.
But it's this kind of happy that's making me so sad to begin with
so maybe I don't need this sort of happy.

Why have I been posting only inane dumb posts about nothing.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

So I appologize greatly to everyone who reads this Sh*t.
It's not going to change any time soon. I'm going to keep writing these blogs that are deperessing and
boring and dumb until this is gone.
But i'm going to keep writing them because it's teh only way that I can write right now.
It's the only way that I know how to clearly and not always concisely (but sometimes) put my thoughts down.
i just need them to be somewhere that's not inside of my head. Because if i let them sit in my head then they brood and grow into things that i don't want to revisit.
So I appologize for these thoughts,
it's no ones fault.
It's my own fault.
And I just need to set them down somewhere so that it's easier to forget them.
Even though once these thoughts are gone they are instantly replaced with more
thoughts.
So here it is,
my sincere (as sincere as I can get ) appology

I'm wondering if you noticed.

And if you did, why haven't you said anything.

It's definitely that time.

I slept almost all day today.
I took a nap from one to six, and then another nap from like six thirty to nine.
Why Did I sleep so much today? I'm not sure, but I have an idea.
Why is it so hard to get dressed and shower? Well, I have an idea about that too.
And I"m losing control over my life. Everything that I control is slowly slipping out of my grasp
and it's intolerable. I cannot handle being out of control in such a way.
I'm grasping for every handhold of control.
Every piece that I can control.

Well enough complaining.
I can't write... again. Surprise surprise. So here's a nice prompt:

Err. Just kidding. I can't even find a promt that feels inspiring enough to write about.
I really need to kick this slump,
but I know that it's going to be here for awhile.
and I don't know if I'm ready for all of the things that it's going to come with.

Goodnight world. I'll see you soon perhaps.

SUPER HAPPY FUN NUMBER ONE BLOG!!!!11!

This is my blog about stuff.
My birthday, pokemon, and how incomplete my life is due to stupid anime shows.

So The official countdown to my birthday is here.
I'm going to be seventeen in twenty two days (twenty if you count today.)
I'm excited for two reasons. I can now go into rated R movies by myself. (which I've done in the past... I saw Black Swan by myself. Like literally by myself at ten at night. It was a strange experience. I have never been that one person who went to a movie alone, but now I have... anyways. It was a good movie.) And I can buy dry ice.
oh! And I can buy mature games. That's exciting too.
I've given it some thought as to what I want for my birthday and I think I"ve figured it out.
I want a pikachu,.

They are so fuggin' cute. It's unbearable.
Damn. Seriously I just want a fuggin' pikachu that I can just cuddle and hold like Ash holds his little pikachu.
I'm so jealous. It's not fair.
DAMN YOU ANIME SHOWS FOR MAKING SUPER AWESOME REALITIES THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE! DAMN YOU ALL!
Oh well I guess that's why cosplay was invented so cool kids like me  can dress up and go pretend to be that person. I just want a fuggin pikachu.
Also other things that I want for my birthday.
Or this

It's a Pika! :D It's what the pikachu is based off of (:
I need one.
It's so friggin' cute.