I'm sitting in starbucks; the one at the mall.
Trying to write (kinda) the 50 point essay on Kafka.
Guess how it's going. Go on, guess.
It's not.
I have the intro done and that's like it.
I love essay writing I really really really really really do.
It's one of my weird favorite things, but I just cannot write it.
You know what that means? My slump is back.
It comes and goes and right now it came back and it's fucking with me.
It usually does. I get a week off from being sad and deperessed and devoid of life and culture and things,
and then when that week of inspiration is up and I have so many plans for things that I want to do,
I'm back where I started, depressed and uninterested in everything around me.
The only reason I can blog is because even though I can't focus on anything because I'm severely uninterested in everything I have this need to be doing something. I need to do something. I need to have busy hands.
And my hands are busy telling you pointless things about how I'm sad again.
I don't want to tell you how sad I am, I want to tell you interesting things, but it seems that this is all that i can tell you.
Oh i had a dream last night.
So, this is my dream.
I was in Goodwill with Amber, (I think that's the first time I've ever mentioned her name in my blog. Just saying. Realizations.) And we were looking for something, I don't know what. But we didn't find it and then we were on our way to my parents new beach house on the coast (which coast, i dont' know I think it might've been east coast) and so we were on our way and we were travelling with a big group and we came to this swampy river thing that I was almost one hundred percent positive was infested with aligators, So I made amber carry me across, as I was screaming and kicking about how we were going to be eaten by alligators. Once we were on the other side there was a group of people hanging out on the side of this cliff thing and my friend Hannah McDaniel was there, and i went and said HI! And then we went into my house, and I don't know where Amber went and I was with my friend Jo now, and we were exploring my new house and looking all of the cool things because it had secret rooms and hallways and things. And then I tried to kiss (and now i'm remembering why I decided not to list names in my blogs... because I have weird dreams.) Joey. And he was all "Uhhh, nooo." And I was upset and confused, "What/ Why?! *sad face*" but we just kept on exploring and went on with looking through my house like nothing happened. And then there was this evil thing possesing all ofthese toys that were inteh basement and the basement looked a lot like an old underground train station. And so we're all lookin' and stuff and and this evil thing tries to posses this one toy and you can tell when a toy becomes possessed because it gets this clown face paint on it. and the only way to kill it is to burn it.
so we're burnin' it and melting it and things, and then when we htink we've burned the evil out of it it's now a deformed toy and little does anyone know, i don't know how i knew i jsut did, but the toy was tricking us and making us think we saved him when really the evil didn't die because we didn't burn it long enough (if we did it right the toy would have been cute again, but we didn't know that) and he was pissed secretly and was going to murder us all.
So yeah, that was my dream.
I'm so tired lately, it seems that no matter how much sleep i get it's never enough. Ever ever ever. Which sucks.
I'm going to do my homework later. I can't focus right now.
Au revoir.
Dynamo.
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