Maybe I'm thinkin' to myself.

I'm stuck.
And that's all I have to really say today.
I've found my twin flame.
Maybe.
I've found something.
And it's sending me for a tail spin.
I hate highschool.
I hate being a kid, a teen.
I hate being without any answers of my own.
I hate not being able to solve my own problems.
I hate hurting others.

I'll give it a week or so and I'll clear my mind.
Look at you with clean eyes. and tell you how I  fell.


I'll fix you.

I am a rock.

I am like this rock.

Many different layers, colors,

Cultures.

I am like this rock.

A groove,

A seat.

So I can bend to their needs.

But I am a rock.

I hold my place

And only change

Over

Many

Many

Years.

Creatively titled. Prompt Eleven.

There were woods behind my friend Cicy’s house, and they were full of trees, and creeks, and things to explore.

I had always loved that place, it was so magical for me. I could go there and pretend and be free. No one to judge me. No one to laugh at me.

There were two creeks. One that came and faced parallel to the behind side of her house and another that came and faced the right side of her house and they connected in a swampy area.

          And when I went there I could be anything. A dinosaur, usually a raptor or something along those lines.  I could be a dragon, and an explorer.

I would collect the algae from the water, let it dry out and wrap it around sticks. I mixed water and clay that I dug a foot into the earth to get and made my own cave paintings. I was an adventurist. I was anything I wanted to be.

Most of all I was free.

Prompt: animal encounters.

I pull up to my house, right? Slowly I peered around. For days now, I tell ya’ I haven’t seen a mouse in weeks.  There’s a panther on the loose. A giant wild cat! I saw it once. It was huge, I tell ya’. He leaped and bounded. He gambled after his prey. So quietly, I was sittin’ there in my car, now. I was just waitin’ to see if it was safe fer me to dash outta my car to my house, and then I saw the dang thing. The panther leaped onto my car. My car shook with such ferocity, I tell ya’.  I was frozen in place, couldn’t even blink an eye. It came closer to the window. Slowly I opened the door and took off fer my house. But I didn’t know if I’d make it. Halfway there I already thought of myself as a goner. I’d already written my will in the clouds. That dang panther was really chasin’ me. He leaped and chased. He gambled on me!

I finally reached the house. Safe inside at last.

So I picked up my black kitty and snuggled him ‘till half past.

“who let you out?”, I purred in his ears. “Someone might get the wrong impression, black panthers can’t be stout.” And we snuggled some more. While he told me of wild stories, galore. 

Writing prompts from nature writing.

Prompt: What's at the center of your being?

I like to think everyone has goodness inside. If I tell you what’s on the outside can you guess what’s on my inside?

Outsides are tough to protect soft insides, they age faster these outsides do. The outside needs to mature, or else it dies, it needs to mature to survive. But the insides have to die a little bit to keep going. The insides sacrifice their purity for survival.

A baby starts small, they are pure. They grow large, and larger; this is their growing outside. It helps protect the infant on the inside that never grows. IT is the innocence of life. The smaller person is the closer they are to their innocence, the harder it is to keep it. The larger the person is the further away from the innocence they are, and the harder it is to find.

Prompt: thunderstorms. Thunderstorms in my brain. The ideas flash. Lightening in my eyes, no twinkle, no dazzle, lightening idea. Thunder clouds stop the flow. Thunder clouds make the lightening slow. The rain falls pitifully through the windows to my soul. I forgot to close the windows. My house, my belongings are ruinded. Because the thunder clouds came and I forgot to close the window. My cat jumped out the window, was gone for two days. My windows stayed closed but it rained anyway. Been gone for two days, came back on Sunday, ate everything I left for him.

School has ended and now I have transitioned to symposium. My symposiums? Nature writing and the other is to be determined because I cant swim. It used to be sailing, but I failed to learn to swim. Am I upset? Kinda. But nature writing is amazing. Who doesn't like have intellectual conversations all morning and then go for a hike and write? Yeah I know. Its great. Im going to start putting what I write on this here bloggy, and that's that. So here's my very first entry.... may 23, 2011 prompt: yellow. Yellow. Sunshine yellow crayon in my bag. It is my token to myself to make myself happy. The amsoil arena is the aesthetic oppressor to my lake view. Ams, makes me think of that girl who's heart I break without her knowing. I dont know how not to. Because I am the sunshine, I make sure I am happy.

I bow in remembrance to all things that the earth has given me. To cherish life because I am only a single being.

Sometimes you just gotta break something (mazeltov!)

Alrighty. A few things to note.
One. The law of attraction is real, and it's a wonderful thing. What is it and why is it so wonderful?!?! Well you can click this link: click* :)  But it's wonderful because I woke up this morning, my car was on EMPTY, so I went to the gas station near my home and pumped five because last time I checked there was at least five dollars on my dumb card. I go in to pay and my card is rejected, my body in convulsions because of fear I panicked and then a nice old man said "heres five" and covered me. It was really cool and my faith in the human race was brought back to life and all of those things. So while driving to pick my aunt up I kept thinking "Money comes often and easily", sort of like a mantra. Later that day a teacher at my school who is in charge of the Rome Trip which I am sadly not apart of anymore. But she came to tell me that I was going to get my check back from all of the money I put into it! So that was nice.

Two... Oh! I almost forgot what the other things were. Two: I've put myself on a clothing diet. It's ridiculous, but my closet has gotten pretty damn gross. I need to add things into it that will be great FOREVER. No more buying things that are "in season". I want vintage, forever things. Also, if I don't sew it myself then it HAS to be designer. That's right I'm going to make my clothes and buy only designer. It's ridiculous. But I have nothing. nothing.  In my closet. Nothing that fits, nothing that's cute. NOTHING that matches. It's horrible. So I'm going to turn myself into a fashionista. Somehow. I have some good ideas. They're only on paper so far... but I'll put them up. Somehow...
I'm a fashionista. I'm a fashionista. I'm a fashionista. Maybe law of attraction works that way too? :)

^^ Me, hopefully SOON!

^^ Me now. Pitiful. And sad. 

There was a third things. But I completely forgot now. 

So enjoy this wonderful song. 

Goodbye

Daydreams pass the time when your torturing yourself running

The black eyed peas song One Tribe is blarring in my eyes. The sound is upbeat and light. There are possibly one million people in the crowd, clapping uproariously. There are tiny stars in the midst of these people; the photographers. Im walking on the cat walk, there are tingles up and down my spine and the hairs on my arm stand up. This is the moment I have waited for my entire life. I am an Angel.


Yep. This is what I think about when I go running/walking. I  am a Victorias secret model. Lame I know. But you've gotta have goals right ? No matter how ridiculous. The chills I talk about are real by the way. I have all of the music from the last four shows, and I run and exercise to  them. And i get tingles. Sick. Adrianna lima is amazing, and Miranda Kerr is effing God. I only dream of being her.
I'm not completely superficial though, I just want that to be my reality. I'm still going to college, to be an art major so I guess that means I still don't understand this whole "Reality" thing. But that's fine. Completely fine and dandy with me.


My grandmother thinks she has crones disease :(
I am so sad. My grandmother is the most amazing woman to ever live. EVER.


But now that I've gotten all of those thoughts out of the way, and those were very very very old thoughts, I've FINALLY decided what the heck I want to do with this fricken blog. I know, all of my MILLIONS OF followers are just dying to know. Yep, the guy I work with and my good friend Sydnee. I'm just living it up with fans. But it's not about that at all!
I've finally decided what I'm doing and that's all that matters.