Wow. So I don't even know what to say really. While I think about it, I'll mindlessly put up Ye Rin's Letter to me before she left.
"Morgan, *insert korean way to spell my name*,
Morgan!!!!!!!! I'm so sad and sad and sad that I'm leaving you. But!! I will try to come back your senior year! So we can be together all the time! For sure we are going to the Philippines and have lot of fun! I will also visit you in June and have a lot of fun again. It was so great that we went to the beach. It was so fun. At the beginning of the year it was really hard to make friends. But one pretty girl came to me and said "Hi I'm morgan, I want to be friend with you." You don't know how glad I was. It was super awesome!!! I have somebody really cool, cute, pretty, awesome, Asian!! Besides, you are Filipino. I loved Philippine. Dont' make any other cool friends besides me, haha or I'm gonna be so jealous. Thank you for everything, everything. I'm going to miss you. Now I'm missing you even though I will see you tomorrow.
I love you too! SO MUCH!!
From little asian, Josie <3 Ye Rin."
It makes my eyes leak water everytime. But right now it's good because I have sand in my eyelids. And up my nose and chilling in the back of my throat. It's no where else though. I took a shower.
I have sand everywhere because I went to the beach. I don't know what I really want to say about it. I know exactly what I think about it. But, I can't say it. I can say, that I am a winner. I can say, that I feel horrible. I can say, that it was thrilling and wonderful. I can say, but I won't.
Someday, I will though.
I hate being all "cryptic" like this in blogs, but I do it a lot. Mostly because I want to say everything on my mind but I have "filters" as my friend would call it. And the filter that is always on is "emotions" not my emotions, because I'm sure I wear my heart on my sleeve. But everyone else's emotions. Sometimes I wish that there was no such thing as emotions, but then I know that I would never understand what happiness is, what joy, reckless abandonment, and even sorrow were. I would rather feel sorrow, the worst most depressing sorrow that there ever was than to never feel anything at all. For what is life without emotion? The human experience is nothing but emotions driving actions and words.
I really should just be poor for the rest of my life and get that damn philosophy degree.
I realized today that throughout my ENTIRE life (Yep all sixteen years four months five days and exactly one hour from now (11:07) ) I have always had a Korean person somewhere in my life. Like ALWAYS. Lurking in the background of my Oh so busy life. Actually the productiveness of my life has picked up in the last few days, but that's a completely different story. Anyway so here is a list of Koreans that have come in and out of my life, and why they were/are important. In from what I can remember chronological order ^-^
Jenny: She is a Korean from America. She was my first friend when I moved to Minneapolis (Burnsville) and she was really cool. Like REALLY COOOL! All of the cool kids liked her and she liked me, but none of the cool kids liked me so I was that weird kid who hung out with the cool kids. I just remember like we did everything together at school. I sat next to her at lunch, we played on the playground and she taught me Korean, kinda.
Gowen: She was my second friend, same time period as Jenny. She moved to America from Korea and she could hardly speak any english. But we were good friends. I remember staying the night at her house a lot and we would color in her korean coloring books and use her FRICKEN AWESOME korean color crayons. Everything is just awesome in Korea. She was my best friend. I may have done everything at school with Jenny, Gowen tagged along at school, but outside of school I was ALWAYS at her house. She lived in the same town house as I did.
Becky: When I moved back up here She lived down the street from me, and she was my BEST friend for a longggg time. There was really too much to even say about her to really put into words. It's so weird though, like we hung out every single day for five years and then she moved and we haven't really talked since. We were so different, but she left such an impact on me as a person. I wish we were still friends.
Emma: She's not very close to me, but she's a girl that I work with and she's korean. Her boyfriend writes a blog that I am a fan of and she said something really funny one time when I was eating with them at work. There were tattoos going on at work and mike and emma were talking about getting them and mike said something like "oh get a red and blue ying yang with the korean quoatations" and she said something like "oh i'll only get black and white ones because i'm already colored." I thought that was hilarious. She's so pretty too!
Ye Rin: She has left the BIGGEST impact on me. I'm going to travel EVERYWHERE WITH THIS GIRL. I mean that too. In august I'm going to Colorado to visit her at her new host family's house. She's so cool. Seriously. I can talk to her about ANYTHING and I do. I text her all the time. She's in Philadelphia right now with her Korean friends. I don't know what to say, besides that I've made a friend for life with her.
Well, there was a bunch more that I wanted to blog about but this is long. So i'll quit I guess.
AH! One more thing. This is really gross, but I was with my friend Luke and we were driving around and he out of the blue asked "If a girl swallows is that the same as cannibalism?" It's the one of the grossest questions I've ever heard, but I don't know the answer.
One one more moer thing thing. I saw like an 82 year old man standing outside of planned parenthood today. Seriously. He doesn't have ovaries. I don't think he has a say in that matter. Also, he's old and it was cold. He could have gotten hypothermia.
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