like the river flows so surely to the sea.

"We of course equate the pain of loss to the intensity of the love, but that is not what is behind the pain. The more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your sense of purpose because when you do something for just anyone and they do not appreciate it; your sense of purpose is not completely satisfied. It requires seeing who you are helping, and their appreciation to make it complete." says personal developer, David Samuel.
I just wanna be needed.
That feeling of broken heart that people get, like when you feel an uncomfortable sinking feeling where your heart is. I tried to figure it out last night because it wouldn't go away. Its supposedly the equivalent to a heart attack without killing the heart muscles. It just stuns your heart. And it hurts. I had it consistently for three hours last night. I cant really remember why, I guess insomnia mixed with racing thoughts  can make a person feel really crummy. 
The uncertainty is deafening.
I saw a northern. Like the fish. Those things are nasty. So are bass. Sunfish are cute though. Really cute. They wave at you when you catch them.
Like "hi, wanna throw me back in so you can catch me again?"
So last night I had something that I wanted to blog about, or else text someone. But I cant remember anymore. I should have just made myself a note last night. Gosh, i didn't get any sleep last night. Seriously, i didn't fall Asleep until like four maybe five, im exhausted.
Am I conceited? I was told so last night. Or am I finally realizing the physical potential I have? Or am i just bull shitting myself so I don't feel bad when I look in the mirror. But really, when do I ever look in the mirror, I only catch glimpses of my reflection in fragments. And then i wonder. Who was that? Later realizing it was me.
My Filipino grandma  tells me that im the ugly duckling. She says that i will be among other swans and see how beautiful i am soon, until then i need to just be different and be myself around ducks.
This weather is really getting to me. Its bringing me down. Its almost the end of June and im still wearing a winter coat. Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?
I've realized that im going to spend my entire life waiting for summer to come