I just might be a Tumbl whore.

Actually I'm not considering I just google things and post them here.
Like here are some funny facebook statuses!

____ When your computer asks "Are you sure?", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions you've made. 
____ That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain to the village what he was doing to the cow. 
____ Holy crap, I just found out time travel is possible!!! You can go to 2004 by just following this link:http://www.myspace.com/.
____ is eating a bowl of generic frosted flakes... THEY'RRRRRRRRRREEE alright, I guess.
____ The early bird may get the worm, but the rest of the birds can still get McGriddles until 10:30am. It’s all about perspective, people.
____ Dear FAMILY: Thanks so much for putting my empty cereal box back in the cabinet. Now I can have disappointment for breakfast.____ That awkward moment when you make eye contact with your cat while he's in the cat box taking a dump. 
____ keeps putting my best intelligent, original, experiential material on Facebook... and all the "likes" go to profane, scatological posts. Well, f*%$ that sh!t. 
____ doesn't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
____ doesn't always delete people from Facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends. 
____ has this amazing fantasy where I take my husband on a long drive in the country. Then I pull over to the side of the road, fling open the door and say "This is your new home! Go on Boy!! You're free now."
____ That awkward moment when Bruno Mars can't catch a grenade for you, because he's having a lazy day.
____ Hey, lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test.....How's your day going?
____ doesn't know about you, but every time I hear the words “Penal Colony” I can't help but snicker like an immature little kid... Just imagine, a colony for peas!
____ got a friend request from a Rob Ot. His profile picture is of a toaster. Nice try Decepticon, better luck next friend request. I'm not falling for it. 
____ Recent studies indicate that traditional punishments don’t change behaviour in children. That’s why I’ve kept a 14.4 Kbps dial-up modem for when my kids act out of line. How do you like your Xbox Live now?!!
____ The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down & you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.


Yeah, you can expect some of these to pop up as my status throughout the next few days.
Happy posting.