Just stop.

Alrighty, press pause on the playlist at the top of the page puh-lease and click this link  Love.

So i'm going to blog later tonight about two things: this note that sydnee made me a LONG time ago, why every fourth of july I'm reminded of why I pay lots of tax payer money, and Ke$ha and how she's smart and has really good songs.

But right now I'm going to blog about Love. It's everlasting. It never goes away. You don't just wake up one morning thinking to yourself "I'm not in love anymore" if you do then it wasn't love. But things build up. They start as a small seed in the back of your mind and slowly with each moment that it passes your mind it gets sunlight and water until that small seed has grown into a large plant and that plant needs space, and it needs room to let the  roots grow and grab ahold of things around it so that it can feel stable. This plant grows, but then when you look at it, and you realize that it's a dandelion. Most people overlook dandelions, seeing them as just another lawn weed, but really people don't see the dandiness of the dandelion. So they pull it out, but once it's out of the ground they look at the dandelion and they see that it's really beautiful and they see that it's really a wonderful flower. So they wish and wish for more to grow in their mind because they realize that this flower that grew in the back of their mind needed sunlight and watering in the beginning. It needed attention. It needed to be worried over and fussed about. But if you let these things grow without attention they don't grow up properly. I'm going to tend to my garden, and organize my dandelions and make everything beautiful so that I can make beautiful wishes later.

In the past day and a half I've realized a lot about myself. It's a short period of time. It's insane how when you put yourself in extreme situations you go from "living" to "surviving" and it's those surviving moments that you learn things about yourself. I've learned a lot. And now I'm ready to move on. I need to keep going . I need to fight this, get through this. And go back to living. I don't know how much longer I will be able to survive.